Prisoner (TV Series)

Episode #5.30 (1983)

Sheila Florance: Lizzie Birdsworth

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Lizzie Birdsworth : How come they've released him and Lainie is still here?

  Helen Smart : Hmm. You know what I think? I think we have just witnessed the big cover up.

  Lizzie Birdsworth : What do you mean?

  Helen Smart : Well, it wouldn't look too good for the department or the cops if it was known that they mistook a male prisoner for a female prisoner. Can you imagine the publicity?

  Lainie Dobson : Well I don't care why they did it. I'm just glad he's out. But I don't know what I'm gonna do without him.

• Lizzie Birdsworth : [to Nola]  You can stick your bloody tobacco, and I don't mean in your pipe!

• Helen Smart : They are bending over backwards to keep us happy and there's gotta be a reason.

  Lizzie Birdsworth : Well I say let's take everything we can get while the going is good. Do you reckon there is anything else we could ask for?

  Maxine Daniels : Yeah! How about letting our boyfriends in for occasional visits? Say overnight?

  Lizzie Birdsworth : Well, we used to have conjungle visits some time ago but they stopped those; it caused a lot of bad feelings.

  Maxine Daniels : Bad feelings, eh? I'd call 'em terrific!

  [they laugh] 

  Helen Smart : Well, I was thinking of asking the department if they'd mind me carrying on my trade while I was in here.

  Lizzie Birdsworth : Well, you'd have one regular customer, old Ferguson!

  [she laughs just as Joan enters] 

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : Alright you lot! Move it out

  [she leaves] 

  Helen Smart : [to Lizzie]  I think I might give it a miss.

  Nola McKenzie : You're all a pack of fools! Can't you see what they're doing? The more they give you now the more it'll hurt when they take it away.

  Lizzie Birdsworth : Gawd! You're a bloody great pain in the bum, McKenzie!

• Maxine Daniels : This is terrific Lizzie! What do reckon you'll ask for next time?

  Lizzie Birdsworth : Couple of new dresses, mink coat, and maybe a bikini to wear during my exercise period!

  [she laughs] 

  Lizzie Birdsworth : What about you?

  Maxine Daniels : I reckon I'll ask for a blow-up Mel Gibson doll.

  Lizzie Birdsworth : Oh yeah! I think I'll have one of Gary Cooper.

  Maxine Daniels : Who's Gary Cooper?

  Lizzie Birdsworth : Well, he's almost as masculine as the Freak and twice as pretty!

  [they laugh before running into Joan in the corridor] 

  Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson : What's so funny, Birdsworth? Have you been on the booze again?