- [first lines]
- Hercule Poirot: Hastings, my friend, tell me: to blow up the English Parliament, was it a sin or a noble deed?
- Captain Hastings: Oh, it's no good asking me, old son. I was never much of a one for politics. Where's Mrs Japp tonight, then?
- Chief Inspector Japp: She can't abide fireworks.
- Hercule Poirot: Ah, the noise disturbs the delicate sensibilities of many ladies.
- Chief Inspector Japp: Maybe, maybe. I think it's more that she doesn't like to see people enjoying themselves.
- Miss Lemon: The trouble is, Mr Poirot, they just don't understand the letters.
- Hercule Poirot: Why not?
- Miss Lemon: They're Chinese, Mr. Poirot.
- Hercule Poirot: The Bulldog Breed laundry is Chinese?
- Miss Lemon: Yes, Mr Poirot.
- Hercule Poirot: What is the world coming to Miss Lemon?
- Miss Lemon: I'm sure I couldn't say, Sir, but when the boy brings your laundry back, he brings the letters back too for me to explain to him.
- Hercule Poirot: And you do.
- Miss Lemon: No?
- Hercule Poirot: Why not?
- Miss Lemon: I don't speak Chinese.
- Hercule Poirot: So what do you say to him?
- Miss Lemon: Well, I... I say "Him collar no vely good starchy." I show him the collars and say it.
- Hercule Poirot: Hastings my friend, you spent some years in China, did you not?
- Captain Hastings: Oh absolutely. Fine fellows, fine fellows.
- Hercule Poirot: Did you ever have any trouble with your laundry.
- Captain Hastings: Yes I did as a matter of fact.
- Hercule Poirot: And what did you say to them?
- Captain Hastings: Well, I said "Him collar no vely good starchy."
- Miss Lemon: That's where I got it from, Sir. I asked the Captain, knowing he'd been in the East.
- Hercule Poirot: But Hastings, my collars they do not get any better.
- Captain Hastings: No. Mine didn't either, now I come to think about it.
- Captain Hastings: Why don't you get yourself some turned-down collars, Poirot? They're much more the thing, you know.
- Hercule Poirot: The thing, Hastings? You think Poirot concerns himself with mere thingness?
- Captain Hastings: Aah, no.
- Hercule Poirot: Hmm.
- Captain Hastings: No, I, I, I see that, Poirot.
- Hercule Poirot: The turned-down collar is the first symptom of decay of the grey cells!
- [last lines]
- Hercule Poirot: When she opened the cupboard, she tried to focus our attention on the wrong object, so she used the briefcase as a... what is it? A bloater? Kipper?
- Captain Hastings: Red herring.
- Hercule Poirot: Absolutely. And now, my friends, it is time for me to take you to lunch.
- Captain Hastings: What a good night for a murder, eh? I mean, if somebody wanted to kill anybody, nobody would know if it was a gunshot or a firework.
- Hercule Poirot: But not so good, my friend, if your chosen method is strangulation.
- Captain Hastings: No. That's true, no.
- Chief Inspector Japp: Or poisoning, come to that.
- Hercule Poirot: The name of Poirot is feared on golf courses all over the continent.
- Golfer: You don't happen to have a handicap certificate on you, do you, sir?
- Hercule Poirot: No, no, I'm fine.
- Hercule Poirot: [dictating a letter to Miss Lemon] To the Bulldog Breed Laundry. Dear Sirs: Once again, I am obliged to communicate to you, the dissatisfaction I have for the starching of my collars. I refer to my instructions of the second of March, 1935, and subsequent letters...
- Chief Inspector Japp: That's something in your line, Poirot. You like chasing about after the kind of triviality that leads nowhere.
- Jane Plenderleith: It was justice, and you call it murder?
- Hercule Poirot: Because it IS murder! The man you wished to entrap is already in prison! Do you wish to destroy him as well? Do you wish to do as he did, to take the life of another human being?
- [pause]
- Jane Plenderleith: No. I wish that, but I can't.
- Miss Lemon: You won't forget your dental appointment at 11 will you, Mr. Poirot?
- Hercule Poirot: Hercule Poirot does not need to go to the dentist, Miss Lemon.
- Miss Lemon: You've put it off once already.
- Hercule Poirot: My teeth are perfection. It's sacrilege to tamper with them.
- Chief Inspector Japp: Never mind about jumping to conclusions, Poirot. This is a murder we're dealing with.