Only Fools and Horses (TV Series)

Healthy Competition (1983)

Nicholas Lyndhurst: Rodney Trotter

Quotes 

• Rodney Trotter : Del, we'll probably have some problems getting these back to our depot.

  Mickey Pearce : Yeah, we came down on the Green Line, you see.

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Oh, well, in that case your best bet's to hire an open-backed truck, ain't it?

  Rodney Trotter : Oh, yeah. Yeah. But we were wondering whether you could take a few in the back of the van.

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : The back of *my* van? You must be joking. I've only just cleared them out of the back of my van!

  Rodney Trotter : You mean you were selling them in the first place?

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Yeah! That is the load of rubbish that Alfie Flowers sold me. Normally I'd never have bought it, but he caught me when I was a bit non compos-mentis down the 1-11 Club. I never thought I'd get shot of them, but you know me, Rodders. He who dares, wins! I actually made a tidy little profit on it and all.

  Rodney Trotter : So what are we supposed to do with them?

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Well, why don't you do what I did? Find yourselves a couple of right little plonkers with cash on the hip!

• Grandad : Well you've got to give them the benefit of the doubt Del-Boy.

  Rodney Trotter : Yes. Thank you Grandad. At least somebody understands.

  Grandad : I mean they are difficult to spot, what with their size 18 boots and their pointed heads.

  Rodney Trotter : Why don't you shut your mouth you sarky old goat.

• Rodney Trotter : For the past 2 weeks or so, I've been taking stock on my life. Who I am? What I am? And where I'm going?

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : And that's taken you a fortnight? I could've answered all them questions for you. Could've answered them all during the commercial break.

  Rodney Trotter : Will you shut up for one minute. I am 24 years old. I have two GCE's, 13 years of schooling and 3 terms at an adult education centre behind me right? And with all that, what have I become? I'm a lookout.

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : No Rodney you're wrong, you're not just a lookout. YOU'RE A BAD LOOKOUT!

  Rodney Trotter : Alright. Alright so I'm not very good at it. Perhaps that's cause my heart's not really in it.

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : I'm not asking you to put your heart into it, just your eyes'll do.