Norm MacDonald: Norm Henderson

Quotes 

• Norm Henderson : You know what I do when a girl breaks up with me, is I pretend that, ah, I never loved her and that I was just using her for the sex. Either that or I pretend, ah, that I'm a superhero and I need to extract fuel from her to help me fly.

• Shelly Kilmartin : How on Earth could Taylor have a crush on you?

  Norm Henderson : What are you talking about? You dated me.

  Shelly Kilmartin : [ponders for a second]  How on Earth could I have dated you?

  Norm Henderson : Hey, I'll tell you what,

  [picks up a bowl of snacks] 

  Norm Henderson : why don't you have some, ah, snacks here instead of talkin', huh?

• Danny Sanchez : Do you know how many things had to go exactly right for me to get Taylor? The same number of accidents that created life on Earth.

  Norm Henderson : Hey! Those weren't accidents. Our Lord God set those things in motion. And I believe that our Lord God is up in Heaven right now trying to find you, ah, another chesty broad, you know?