- Bill: I took Lisa out to lunch.
- Dave: Did you?... Did you? Good for you...
- Bill: It was a lot more than lunch, you know. A lot more.
- Dave: Wait a minute. You and Lisa didn't have... coffee, did you?
- Bill: Yes, coffee... in bed... after we did it.
- Dave: Bill, you and Lisa didn't do anything. Alright? I applaud your misguided efforts to make me jealous, but I've got work to do, so... leave.
- Bill: I don't care about making you jealous, Dave. I just care about pleasing your woman.
- Dave: Lisa is not my woman.
- Bill: And how!
- Jimmy James: You guys remember that, uh, secret workplace analysis I had commissioned?
- Dave: ...No.
- Jimmy James: You know, the guys who have been secretly observing everyone in the office for the past six months?
- Lisa: ...No.
- Jimmy James: Good.
- Jimmy James: Look, Dave and Lisa are better as a couple, right?
- Bill McNeal: Of course they are. They belong together, like H and 2-O.
- Joe Garrelli: [at Matthew's birthday party] Why do we have to wear these stupid party hats, anyway?
- Jimmy James: Because - if I'm the only one wearin' a stupid party hat, I feel like a dork.
- Joe Garrelli: Why do *you* have to wear it?
- Jimmy James: [takes off hat] ... OK.
- Lisa: [reading office report] Wow, Dave - that much coffee you drink?
- Dave: Yeah, well - how many times you go to the bathroom?
- Jimmy James: You know, you - you two get a, you know, sequined thermos and a silver toilet, you could put on quite a magic show!