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"The New Statesman" Keeping Mum (1991)
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Overview
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"The New Statesman" (1987)Original Air Date:
27 January 1991 (Season 3, Episode 4)Plot:
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''Don't Kiss Alan!'' moreCast
(Episode Credited cast) | Rik Mayall | ... | Alan B'Stard |
| Michael Troughton | ... | Piers Fletcher-Dervish |
| Marsha Fitzalan | ... | Sarah B'Stard |
| rest of cast listed alphabetically: | |||
| Penny Brownjohn | ... | Betty Gammon |
| Brenda Bruce | ... | Beryl |
| Alan Ford | ... | Police Inspector |
| Martin Friend | ... | House of Commons Speaker |
| Nicholas Fry | ... | Newsreader |
| David Lloyd | ... | Police Sergeant |
| Graham Rigby | ... | Old MP |
| Ron Webster | ... | House of Commons Policeman |
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*** This comment may contain spoilers ***
Alan has been making Piers steal charity boxes, and also Alan has started a new law in which old people should go to live with their family, who shows up in Alan's office but Mrs B'stard {not Sarah, his mother!} and asks to go and stay with him, he says no because he has the Duchess of York {the still tasty Sarah Ferguson} coming round for dinner, she puts on the old sympathy act by saying she'll die in the gutter and Alan will get arrested for breaking his own law, after a hell of a struggle Alan gives in, Sarah {B'stard} is very dischuffed about all this.
Sarah: What'll we do when Andy and Fergie get here?.
Alan: We'll have to phone the Palace and cancel.
Piers: {at window, waving} Too late they're here.
{Alan and Sarah dash to the window} Alan: It's them all right, who else drives a Rolls Royce with furry dice on the rear view mirror.
Piers: Does'nt she look radiant.
Sarah: Does she, that's impossible.
Although Sarah B'stard is very pretty, Sarah Ferguson is much nicer looking {OK, i may sound sad here but i'll admit i fancy Fergie, so bloody what what anyone thinks, my opinion, not anyone else's, also i like Fergie because she is just a down to earth woman, not a snob like the rest of the Royal Family}, anyway needless to say that the night was a disaster. I'll not go on about this episode anymore, i'll let everybody watch for themselves.
Funniest Moment: After the failed dinner party with the B'stard's and the Duchess of York, Alan asks Fergie if she will send him the dry cleaning bill, Fergie flicks him the V-Sign.