- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I've heard stories about Special Agent Gibbs.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Only half of 'em are true. Trick is, figuring out which half.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: [after being thrown against Gibbs during an emergency submarine breach] Wow...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah
- [looking down at her in his arms]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: that's what they all tell me.
- [Then smirks as she pushes away from him with both hands]
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: I wonder what McGee said to make Tony speechless?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: He told him he got a tat on his ass.
- [after Tony throws a rock through a window to gain access to a suspect's house]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: That's breaking and entering!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: No that was breaking.
- [reaches in and opens the door]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: This is entering.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I've never experienced Gibbs without his morning coffee. We're in uncharted waters here, Kate.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: COB, I don't have to tell you what the most important thing is now, do I?
- Chief of the Boat: Getting the ice cream back in the freezer.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Exactly!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: The COB's at the end of the passageway trying to keep an eye on us. You've got to distract him. You're going to need help working the toilet.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Gibbs...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Trust me, Kate. On a submarine, it's a very complicated mechanism.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Is that why you've been shoving water down my throat for the past hour?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I wanna check out Petty Officer Thompson.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: All right, well you don't have to drown me. You could just ask.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Come on. Hydrating's good for you. Go on, un-hydrate.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Never heard it called that before.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: [after COB leaves the room, slamming the door behind him] Do people react that way because we're NCIS, or do you just have that effect on them?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I like to think it's me.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: What's she look like?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Who?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Abby. Sounds cute.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Not your type.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Well, how do you know that?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Have you ever had the slightest urge to tatto your buttocks, McGee?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I don't... think so.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Then we need never speak of her again.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: You've had profile training?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What I've had is about a thousand interviews. After a while you start picking things up.
- Abby Sciuto: Is Agent McGee cute?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Can a guy be cute to you without body art?
- Abby Sciuto: Sure... I'm not a snob.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: [the air conditioner's broken and Gibbs is drinking coffee] Gibbs, it's like a hundred degrees in here. How can you drink that stuff?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: It keeps me cool.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: [after accidentally knocking Gibbs' coffee cup off his desk] What do you put in your coffee?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Coffee.
- Mess Specialist: [bringing Gibbs and Kate ice cream] Courtesy of the skipper, sir. Ma'am. There's, uh, rocky road, cookies and cream, chocolate, butter pecan, and the, uh, captain's personal favorite, pumpkin.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Pumpkin?
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Do you think we have enough, steward?
- Mess Specialist: Well, there's about forty gallons more in the galley, ma'am. Might as well eat it before it melts.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: I don't get it.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: They had to make room in the freezer for the body.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Nice.
- Mess Specialist: It's the only place to preserve it, ma'am. SOP on a sub.
- [officer exits]
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: [seeing a thought strike Gibbs] What?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Anyone who's served on a sub knows that. Travis didn't commit suicide to give up. Suicide was his backup plan.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Everybody has something to lie about. Which means we have nothing.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What are you doing here, Special Agent McGee?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I brought my final report, sir.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You do not have to "Sir" me, McGee.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Go unhydrate!
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: I've never heard it called that before.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Do people react like that because we're NCIS or do you just have that affect on them?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I like to think it's me.