The Nanny (TV Series)

Smoke Gets in Your Lies (1993)

Fran Drescher: Fran Fine

Photos 

Quotes 

• [the doorbell rings at the Sheffield mansion] 

  Fran Fine : Oh, that's Val. You know, it's her first time to the mansion and she's my best friend, so I just want her to drop dead.

  Niles : How thoughtful. I'll leave, you pose.

  [as Niles gets and opens the door, Fran strikes a pose for Val] 

  Val Toriello : [with a look of amazement on her face as she enters the mansion]  I'm droppin' dead.

  Niles : [to Fran]  Mission accomplished.

• Fran Fine : [to Brighton]  Honey, I am so far ahead of you, we're in different time zones.

• Brighton Sheffield : He never has time for us.

  Grace Sheffield : Maybe Daddy's seeing other children!

  Fran Fine : Let's not be paranoid.

  Grace Sheffield : I'm not paranoid... who said I was?

• Fran Fine : I'm your granddaughter, Fran.

  Yetta Rosenberg : Oh Franny, nice to meet you.

  Fran Fine : One nice thing about senility, you're always meeting new people.

• Fran Fine : [Brighton teased Maggie about her having a pimple]  Brighton, what's your problem?

  Brighton Sheffield : I guess I'm just bad to the bone.

  Fran Fine : Honey, you have no idea what bad is. Now the boys Val and I went to school with, they were bad, huh?

  Val Toriello : Oh, the worst!

  Fran Fine : Oy, and now they're all taken.

  Val Toriello : You remember Lenny?

  Fran Fine : Sure. Lenny Brown. Baddest man in the whole damn... Oh no, that was Leroy...

• Brighton Sheffield : [about his father not going to Brighton's school carnival]  Well, he's got my vote for father of the year.

  Fran Fine : Now, now, he would if he could, but he can't. I mean, the man has to make a living, don't he? Well how else can we afford the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed?

• Fran Fine : He'll fire me. I'd fire me. Just when I figured out the bidet is not a water fountain!

• Fran Fine : Oh, I'm the worst nanny in the world... All right, Rebecca De Morney, then me.

• Fran Fine : [Brighton has been caught smoking]  Brighton, smoking. Where would you ever even get an idea like that?

  Brighton Sheffield : From you.

  [Seeing a way out] 

  Brighton Sheffield : Come to think of it.

  Fran Fine : Me?

  Brighton Sheffield : Bad, bad Lenny Brown.

  Fran Fine : What? Oh.

  [Realizing] 

  Fran Fine : Oy.

  Brighton Sheffield : So, uh, maybe we should just keep this our little secret.

  Fran Fine : Wait a minute. Are you trying to blackmail me?

  Brighton Sheffield : Let's just say, if I'm going down, you're going down with me.

  Fran Fine : Who are you? Edward G. Robinson?

• Fran Fine : What was I thinking telling a story like that to a ten year old kid? On the other hand, if I told him to jump off the Empire State Building... Hello. That was my mother's voice that just crossed the Queensboro Bridge and flew out my mouth!

  Niles : But with such dulcet tones...

  Fran Fine : Oh boy! This is so typical of kids. You try and you try and what do you get? A slap in the face... Oy, my mother again. Niles, call an exorcist.

• Maxwell Sheffield : I need a Broadway star with huge stage presence who's instantly recognizable to the entire country.

  C.C. Babcock : [Carol Channing enters]  Oh my god!

  Carol Channing : [Starting to sing "Hello Dolly!"]  Hello...

  Maxwell Sheffield : Next!

  Carol Channing : [to Fran]  He's tough.

  Fran Fine : You're telling me!

  Carol Channing : Break a leg, honey... His.

• Fran Fine : Oh, I could just cut my tongue out. So if you wanna fire me, do it now.

  Maxwell Sheffield : No, I'm not gonna fire you. Although that offer to cut out your tongue might have some merit...

  [pause] 

  Maxwell Sheffield : Why, if you told Brighton to jump off London Bridge God... I'm beginning to sound just like my...

  Fran Fine : I know! Don't you hate when that happens?

• Fran Fine : [watching Yetta hack up from her smoking]  Oy, Yetta, you sound like you're making espresso over there.

  Brighton Sheffield : All right, all right, I get the point.

  Brighton Sheffield : Oh no you don't, Bube. We're just getting started. Why don't you go visit with Yetta?

  Brighton Sheffield : [terrified, pointing to Yetta]  Over there?

  Fran Fine : Yeah, where the air is nice and fresh.