Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Space Mutiny (1997)

Michael J. Nelson: Mike Nelson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Crow : [the macho names they invent for the films hero]  Slab Bulkhead!

  Tom Servo : Fridge Largemeat!

  Mike Nelson : Punt Speedchunk!

  Crow : Butch Deadlift!

  Crow : Bold Bigflank!

  Mike Nelson : Splint Chesthair!

  Mike Nelson : Flint Ironstag!

  Crow : Bolt Vanderhuge!

  Mike Nelson : Thick McRunfast!

  Crow : Buff Drinklots!

  Tom Servo : Trunk Slamchest!

  Crow : Fist Rockbone!

  Mike Nelson : Stump Beefknob!

  Tom Servo : Smash Lampjaw!

  Crow : Punch Rockgroin!

  Mike Nelson : Buck Plankchest!

  Crow : Stump Chunkmen!

  Tom Servo : Dirk Hardpeck!

  Mike Nelson : Rip Steakface!

  Tom Servo : Crud Bonemeal!

  Mike Nelson : Brick Hardmeat!

  Crow : Rip Slabcheek!

  Tom Servo : Bob Johnson! No wait...

  Mike Nelson : Smoke Manmuscle!

  Mike Nelson : Big McLargeHuge!

• Mike Nelson : You know a lot of people have compared this scene to the climatic charriot scene from Ben-Hur? Yeah, they usually say, "Ben-Hur was really good! This movie totally sucks."

• [after Space Mutiny finally ends] 

  Mike Nelson : Boo! Boo!

  Tom Servo : Man, a retarded jellyfish could make a better movie than this!

  Crow : A severely impaired box turtle with a very busy schedule, just give him a camera for a day, he'd come up with something better than this.

• Mc Pherson : Gentlemen, it seems we are not all in agreement.

  Mike Nelson : I disagree!

• Mike Nelson : And our brave hero ROASTS the disabled man...

• Mike Nelson : I don't know if this helps, but Ho Ho Ho.

• Mike Nelson : You know, they shouldn't have set their phasers to "miss."

• Kalgan : You have two choices.

  Mike Nelson : Soup or muffin.

• Kalgan : I'm going to use this laser on your teeth. It's similar to ancient dentistry, not that you'd know anything about that.

  Tom Servo : You're too stupid to know anything about dentistry.

  Leena : You bastard!

  Mike Nelson : How dare you insult my knowledge of ancient dentistry!

• Mike Nelson : Special effects by Industrial Light and Morons.

• [Mystical chanting is heard in the background] 

  Mike Nelson : So, we've got some Benedictine monks in the floorboards, unfortunately. We have set some traps with fresh bread and brandy though.

• [the camera pans over a character that died in the previous scene] 

  Mike Nelson : Hey... Hey, she's dead! She died!

  Tom Servo : Wow...

  Captain Devers : Sir...

  Crow : I think it's very nice of you to give that dead woman another chance!

• [first lines] 

  Mike Nelson : Hey, everyone, welcome to the Satellite of Love. You know, since we are stuck in orbit over Ancient Rome, I thought it might be a good time to teach the 'bots a little something about history.

• Commander Jansen : My father and his father before him...

  Mike Nelson : Also taped wool to their faces.

• Mike Nelson : Okay, look *alive,* everybod- Oh sorry, Susan...

• Mike Nelson : Oh, good thing there's so much gravity in space.

• Mike Nelson : Don't get smart with me, ceiling!

• Crow : Oh, hey, Mike, uh, I'm a Bellerian.

  Mike Nelson : Sure looks that way, doesn't it?

  Crow : Yep. I just found out, and you know it's weird. It explains so much about me, about who I am, where I came from, what motivates me and such.

  Mike Nelson : Well, sure. I mean, you're a Bellerian.

  Crow : Yep. Why, don't I look like one, or--?

  Mike Nelson : No, sure. You do.

  Crow : I mean, I've got to be a Bellerian, otherwise I wouldn't be dressed like this. Gosh, am I a Bellerian? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have to be. Yep, yep, I'm a Bellerian. Oh, hell, am I? I-- No, no, no, I am a Bellerian. I am. Mm-hm.

• [there's a party in the ship's bridge, which looks more like an office cubicle farm] 

  Mike Nelson : Alright, we just got ISO 9001 certified!

• [Actors from the movie chase one another in the Enforcers] 

  Mike Nelson : Hey you know, I read that this scene is often compared to the chariot scene from "Ben-Hur."

  Tom Servo : Oh really?

  Mike Nelson : Yeah, they usually say, ""Ben-Hur" was really good. This movie totally sucked."

• [a chase scene ensues on lethargic go-karts] 

  Mike Nelson : Put your helmet on; we'll be reaching speeds of 3.

• Mike Nelson : We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese.