- Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle: Why does your cousin have to get married at night?
- Michael Kyle: Because he's an insomniac and she's ugly.
- Michael Kyle: What is the smell in here?
- Michael Kyle, Jr.: Kady pooted.
- Michael Kyle: It smells more like she decomposed!
- Michael Kyle: Why is it that I'm the only one in this house who can get dressed and ready on time?
- Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle: Because you're the only one in this house who doesn't have any hair!
- Michael Kyle: Get in the shower, Junior! You smell like corn chips and ass!
- Michael Kyle, Jr.: I do *not* smell like corn chips.