My Favorite Martian (TV Series)

Russians R in Season (1963)

Ray Walston: Uncle Martin

Quotes 

• Uncle Martin : [government agents are persistently knocking on Tims' front door]  Answer the door. You're making it worse!

  Tim O'Hara : Uh, uh, just this one second! Uncle Martin? Uncle Martin, what do they want?

  Uncle Martin : You.

  Tim O'Hara : Me? Who? Why?

  Uncle Martin : Russians are in season.

• Uncle Martin : You wrote a phony letter. The you scuffed it with your shoe to make it look mailed. Then you wrote this big story using the letters X minus Y-2 over.

  Tim O'Hara : How did you know about the shoe?

  Uncle Martin : I'm the Martian! I read the minds! I do not do what you do, which is pussyfooting around while innocent people sleep, kidnapping their mumblings!

• [first lines] 

  Uncle Martin : [reading newspaper]  Hmpf.

  Tim O'Hara : [looking up from his bank statement]  Hmm?

  Uncle Martin : Did you say something?

  Tim O'Hara : No, you did.

  Uncle Martin : No, I distinctly heard you go "hmmm?"

  Tim O'Hara : Oh, yeah. Well, that was after you went "hmpf."

  Uncle Martin : Oh, did I?

  Tim O'Hara : [goes back to bank statement]  Uh-huh.

  Uncle Martin : [goes back to newspaper]  Hmpf.

  Tim O'Hara : Well, there! You did it again!

  Uncle Martin : Tim, did you see this article? Your goverenment is spending two-billion dollars on a space program that cannot possibly be successful.

  Tim O'Hara : [exasperated]  Uncle Martin, I have in front of me, right here, my friendly bank statement. And over here I have my enemy checkbook. Now somewhere, between the two, a penny is lost, and the bank wants me to find it. Yes, Abraham Lincoln lost in a miasma of devious mathematics, and you talk to me about two-billion dollars? Please, Uncle Martin, can we keep it quiet? And no more "hmpf."

  Uncle Martin : [goes back to newspaper]  Hmpf.