My Family (TV Series)
Trust Never Sleeps (2001)
Robert Lindsay: Ben Harper
Photos
Quotes
-
Dental Assistant : My ex-husband was a dentist. I worked alongside him faithfully for 15 years, only to be discarded like a used swab!
Ben Harper : That reminds me, erm... swab, please?
Dental Assistant : You're all alike, you dentists - with your fast cars and your fast women!
Ben Harper : Which, erm, dental school did your ex-husband actually go to?
Dental Assistant : You're just after one thing!
Ben Harper : Yep - the swab. Thank you.
-
Ben Harper : Now, would you just be quiet and do as you're told!
Dental Assistant : That's just what he said! Just before he ran off with his young attractive dental assistant!
Ben Harper : Well, there's no danger of that happening here!
-
Ben Harper : Janey! Janey, what the hell are you doing in there?
Janey Harper : Flossing, like you always tell us to.
Ben Harper : Yes, but recent tests prove that flossing can be harmful to your health when your father wants to get in the bathroom!
Janey Harper : Oh, dad!
Ben Harper : I've got to go to work!
Janey Harper : I've got to go to school!
Ben Harper : You hate school!
Janey Harper : You hate work - it's a draw!
-
Dental Assistant : You dentists are all the same!
Ben Harper : I'm sorry, do you have some sort of problem with dentists?
Dental Assistant : You don't want to know.
Ben Harper : Yep, you're right there!
-
Susan Harper : Look. Janey's diary.
Ben Harper : Where did you get that?
Susan Harper : I found it.
Ben Harper : You... found it? In what sense, found? Found as in fine toothcomb search of her personal possessions?
Susan Harper : No, found in the sense that Fleming discovered penicillin. He was looking for something else.
Ben Harper : Right. What... what were you looking for?
Susan Harper : What was Fleming looking for? The point is I found it.
-
Ben Harper : [about Janey's diary] Eureka! Now put it back before all hell breaks loose! You don't want Janey to think you r... you've read it, haven't you?
Susan Harper : [Long pause] Yes, I did. And it's... it's horrible!
Ben Harper : Why? Er... what, erm... what does it say?
Susan Harper : She says 'Mum doesn't trust me'.
Susan Harper : And?
Ben Harper : Isn't that enough?
Ben Harper : Well, you don't trust her! You've read her diary!
-
Susan Harper : What sort of party is it going to be?
Ben Harper : I'll tell you what sort of party it's going to be: ear-splitting music, stains on the carpet, peeing in the shrubbery, groping in the bedrooms!
Janey Harper : Should I be taking notes?
Nick : Don't worry, dad. I'll keep an eye on things.
Janey Harper : Yeah! Yeah, like you're invited!
Nick : I know lots of boys!
Janey Harper : Er, don't worry, dad! Nick will keep an eye on things!
-
Susan Harper : What are we going to tell the Pattersons?
Ben Harper : Just tell them we had to prevent the four horsemen of the Apocalypse from trashing our house and we maybe a bit late!
Susan Harper : You're being ridiculous. There are thousands of parties in London on a Saturday night. It's not going to be our house.
Ben Harper : Of course it's our house! They said the girl's parents were idiots!
-
Ben Harper : [about Janey's diary] Eureka! Now put it back before all hell breaks loose! You don't want Janey to think you r... you've read it, haven't you?
Susan Harper : [Long pause] Yes, I did. And it's... it's horrible!
Ben Harper : Why? Er... what, erm... what does it say?
Susan Harper : She says 'Mum doesn't trust me'.
Ben Harper : And?
Susan Harper : Isn't that enough?
Ben Harper : Well, you don't trust her! You've read her diary!
-
Ben Harper : [rhetorically] Do you think I care what the neighbours think?
Susan Harper : No, that's why I had to do it.
Ben Harper : Well I'm going to use the other bathroom because I have to do it.
Susan Harper : You can't!
Ben Harper : You just watch me!
-
Ben Harper : So did the plumber turn up?
Nick : No, he did not.
Ben Harper : Mmm.
Nick : Isn't that always the way?
Ben Harper : Mmm.
Nick : You take a day off and what happens.
Ben Harper : You tell me. You're the expert.
Nick : Oh which reminds me, I had another go at fixing your toilet.
Ben Harper : [closing his eyes and dreading what he is about to hear] Oh God!
Nick : No, no, no!
Ben Harper : [annoyed] Nick, please don't...!
Nick : Dad, Dad, Dad! It's all right. It's just a bit cracked.
Ben Harper : What?
Nick : In half. But we're getting a new one, aren't we?
Ben Harper : [comically outraged] You idiot!
Nick : I knew you were going to say that.