My Family (TV Series)

The Unkindest Cut (2001)

Moray Treadwell: Dr. Charles

Quotes 

• Dr. Charles : We perform a procedure known as the non-scalpel vasectomy, or NSV.

  Susan Harper : See, Ben? No scalpel.

  Ben Harper : Good. Good.

  Dr. Charles : Instead, we use sharpened forceps to create the incision in the scrotum.

  Ben Harper : Bad! Bad!

  Dr. Charles : I can assure you, Mr Harper, you will only feel a slight discomfort.

  Ben Harper : I'm a dentist! I know what 'slight discomfort' means - it means it hurts like hell!

• Dr. Charles : I've never had an accident while operating. Last year alone, I've performed over 600 vasectomies.

  Ben Harper : I'm just a little worried about this one.

  Dr. Charles : Not to worry, Mr Harper. If anything goes wrong, we have a money-back guarantee.

  Ben Harper : Money-back gua... I'm not buying a video recorder! When I push play, I want it to play.

  Susan Harper : Oh, really? So why do you keep pushing fast forward?