My Family (TV Series)

The Unkindest Cut (2001)

Gabriel Thomson: Michael Harper

Quotes 

• Janey Harper : [after Nick told her Susan might be pregnant]  Oh, come on! There's got to be some mistake!

  Nick Harper : Remember their last mistake?

  Michael Harper : [after Nick and Janey look at him]  What?

  Nick Harper : I'm sorry, mate! I didn't want to have to tell you this way!

  Michael Harper : Well, you didn't have to tell me at all!

• Nick Harper : Can you imagine mum and dad having sex?

  Michael Harper : No!

  Janey Harper : I can't imagine why they'd even want to! Just look at them!

  Nick Harper : Yeah, well, the eyesight's going!

  Janey Harper : Ugh! Gross! They're well past their sex-by date! Michael just scraped in under the wire!

• Michael Harper : I think it's good they're having another baby. Maybe you'll stop picking on me!

  Nick Harper : Don't worry, Michael. That'll never happen.

  Janey Harper : Trust me, Mike. It's never good. Think about it. Baby food, pushchairs, nappies - those things don't come cheap! Where do you think the money comes from?

  Michael Harper : Don't know.

  Janey Harper : Your allowance - that's where!

  Michael Harper : I hadn't thought of it that way.

  Janey Harper : Ugh! Listen, I've been through this before. It isn't pretty!

  Nick Harper : I think this baby could be pretty cool. It's the perfect distraction. While they're busy with the sprog, we can do whatever we want. All we have to do is keep that baby crying.