My Family (TV Series)

The Unkindest Cut (2001)

Daniela Denby-Ashe: Janey Harper

Quotes 

• Janey Harper : [after Nick told her Susan might be pregnant]  Oh, come on! There's got to be some mistake!

  Nick Harper : Remember their last mistake?

  Michael Harper : [after Nick and Janey look at him]  What?

  Nick Harper : I'm sorry, mate! I didn't want to have to tell you this way!

  Michael Harper : Well, you didn't have to tell me at all!

• Nick Harper : Can you imagine mum and dad having sex?

  Michael Harper : No!

  Janey Harper : I can't imagine why they'd even want to! Just look at them!

  Nick Harper : Yeah, well, the eyesight's going!

  Janey Harper : Ugh! Gross! They're well past their sex-by date! Michael just scraped in under the wire!

• Michael Harper : I think it's good they're having another baby. Maybe you'll stop picking on me!

  Nick Harper : Don't worry, Michael. That'll never happen.

  Janey Harper : Trust me, Mike. It's never good. Think about it. Baby food, pushchairs, nappies - those things don't come cheap! Where do you think the money comes from?

  Michael Harper : Don't know.

  Janey Harper : Your allowance - that's where!

  Michael Harper : I hadn't thought of it that way.

  Janey Harper : Ugh! Listen, I've been through this before. It isn't pretty!

  Nick Harper : I think this baby could be pretty cool. It's the perfect distraction. While they're busy with the sprog, we can do whatever we want. All we have to do is keep that baby crying.

• Janey Harper : Don't play the innocent with me, mum. I wasn't born yesterday.

  Susan Harper : I remember - I was there! Is your father up in the bedroom?

  Janey Harper : Er, is that all you can ever think about? That's how you got into this trouble in the first place! You have to understand there are consequences to your actions!

  Susan Harper : I know - I'm looking at one!

  Janey Harper : Don't take that tone with me! I don't know what you did in your day, but in mine we carry condoms!

  Susan Harper : Janey, Janey, I'm not pregnant.

  Janey Harper : You're not?

  Susan Harper : I thought I was, but I'm not. But thank you for your concern. What do you mean you carry condoms?

  Janey Harper : No time to chat, mum! I've got to make dinner!