My Family (TV Series)

The Second Greatest Story Ever Told (2002)

Kris Marshall: Nick Harper

Quotes 

• Nick : [dressed up as Jesus]  Save me some of that cereal, or else.

  Michael : Or else what?

  Nick : I'll send you to Hell.

  Michael : I live here. You think Hell is a threat to me?

• Ben : You've knocked out my tooth.

  Nick : I told you to have faith in me.

  Ben : It's the wrong tooth!

  [starts strangling nick] 

• [Nick walks in dressed up as Jesus] 

  Ben : Oh, my God.

  Nick : No dad, it's me, Nick.

• Nick : Has anyone seen the keys to our car?

  Ben : It is not our car! It is *my* car!

  Nick : Fine. Has anyone seen the keys to *my* car?

• Ben : [Teasing Nick, who's on his way to a job interview]  What makes you think a bank will even consider you?

  Nick : Well, my last job running the financial planning department of a major investment firm might qualify me.

  Ben : Nick, your last job was at Pizza Hut.

  Nick : Yeah, but they don't know that!

• Nick : [Complaining about Susan]  She won't take direction, she keeps ad-libbing and she tells everybody how to say their lines.

  Ben : Yeah, well, you know your mother.

  Nick : She made Pontius Pilate cry!

• Nick : [about Susan]  You've got to tell her to lighten up.

  Ben : Why me?

  Nick : You're her husband.

  Ben : You're her son.

  Nick : You were her husband first.

  Ben : Not necessarily.

  Nick : Are you calling me a bastard?

  Ben : Every day!