My Family (TV Series)

Serpent's Tooth (2000)

Gabriel Thomson: Michael Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ben : [looking at his cereal]  Has that rabbit been in its cage all morning?

  Michael : They're just raisins.

  Ben : Oh yeah?

  [eats a spoonful of the cereal] 

  Michael : I think.

• Michael : [poking his food]  What is this?

  Susan : Toad in the hole, but we don't have any sausages.

  Janey : So it's just hole.

  Susan : It's not just hole. It's French. It's toad en vacances.

• [first lines] 

  Susan : Toast. Janey, what have I told you about painting your nails at the table?

  Janey : Whatever it was I wasn't listening.

  Michael : Mum, where are my football boots?

  Susan : Where were they when you last had them?

  Michael : On my feet.

  Susan : So wise so young, they say, do not live long.

  Michael : What?

  Susan : I am not your slave.

• Ben : Why don't we go out tomorrow night?

  Susan : Alright.

  Ben : [pause]  Excuse me?

  Susan : I said 'Alright'.

  Ben : Stop it, Susan. Stop laying the guilt trip on me. OK, OK. If I let Unsworth down again, he'll go somewhere else.

  Susan : All I said was 'Alright'.

  Ben : Yeah, al... There you go again! You see? You can't stop it, can you? It's just guilt, guilt, guilt - it's unbearable! I mean, you know, you must be really upset!

  Susan : Ben, I understand. I am not upset.

  Michael : Mum! Football boots!

  Susan : Didn't you hear me? Take some responsibility for yourself!

  Ben : Hey! Why are you angry with him and not angry with me?

  Susan : Because with him, there's still a point.

• Susan : What is that?

  Michael : It's a rabbit.

  Susan : I can see it's a rabbit, but... *what* is it?

  Michael : Well, I wanted a rabbit, so I bought a rabbit.

  Susan : But you didn't ask our permission.

  Michael : Well... I'm rebelling.

  Susan : A rebel with a rabbit?

  Michael : You told me to take more responsibility.

  Susan : I say a lot of things. I told your father he looked good in a tank top.

  Michael : Well, this is a symbol of my independence.

  Susan : That's nice, dear. Take it back to the shop.

  Michael : If you make me take it back, I'll never believe anything you say again. I'll become aimless and remote. And my schoolwork will suffer.

  Janey : He'll become another Nick!

  Susan : [to the rabbit]  Welcome to your new home!

• Ben : Alright, Michael. The thing is, your mother has been very silly. She's been seeing another dentist.

  Susan : I think what your father's trying to say, he's being very arrogant and not seeing anyone else's point of view.

  Ben : Or to put it more simply, your mother thinks she's always right when in fact she's always wrong!

  Susan : Although, how would he know anything about anything when he spend all his time fanning around with his patients and lets his own family go to pot?

  Ben : Whereas your mother thinks that money grows on trees and new handbags sprout little legs and magically leave the shop and enter your house?

  Susan : Whilst your father, although a qualified dentist, believes that children's teeth are magically repaired by the tooth fairy if he ignores them for years...

  Ben : Despite all this, your mother knows that she'll never find a bigger sucker as me!

  Susan : And your father knows he'll never find anyone else who'll have him!

  Ben : That's why we're not getting divorced!

  Michael : Thanks, mum! Thanks, dad! I'll sleep easy tonight!