My Family (TV Series)

Pain in the Class (2000)

Kris Marshall: Nick Harper

Quotes 

• [Nick is drinking milk directly from the bottle] 

  Susan : Nick, were you born in a pigsty?

  Nick Harper : I dunno. You were there.

  Susan : Twenty-three hours of blissful labour. Even then you were slow.

• [last lines] 

  Ben : So, son, do you think you've learnt anything from all this? You see, Michael, there is something you can take away with you that'll help you throughout your life. You wanna hear it?

  Michael : Not really.

  Ben : OK, it's this: None of it gets any better, but the more it happens the less it hurts.

  Michael : Thanks, dad.

  Ben : It's all right, son. That's all right.

  Nick : What?

• Ben : [to Michael]  Go on, try and scare me! And I'll show you how to react, okay? Come on, come on, put me down. Try and scare me!

  Nick Harper : Your tax return has to be in by Wednesday.

  Ben : [Genuinely shocked and regretful]  Oh my god! I'd forgotten!

  Nick Harper : You haven't even begun to do your books!

  Ben : Oh Shi...!

  Nick Harper : If you're late this time there'll be a whopping fine!

  Ben : Oh all right you pillock! Get out! Go on!

  Nick Harper : Sticks and stones...

  Ben : Yeah, don't give me any ideas okay?

• Ben : You see Michael, deep down all bullies are cowards.

  Michael Harper : [Cutting his Dad off]  Jason isn't he's really scary!

  Nick Harper : Yeah he made the gym teacher wet his pants.