Daniela Denby-Ashe: Janey Harper

Quotes 

• Ben : Can't you even love me for my money any more?

  Janey Harper : Well, Gran's leaving me hers.

  Nick : I've got a good job, dad!

  Michael Harper : Roger's paying me £50 a week just to let him be my guardian.

  Ben : Right, that's it! If that's the way you want to play it, fine! None of you gets a penny when I die!

  Nick : How about a fiver now?

• Ben : You're probably wondering why I called you all here today.

  Janey Harper : No.

  Michael Harper : No.

  Susan Harper : Yes.

  Nick : What was the question?

  Ben : I've completed my will. But I've also found an online mortality site that talks sense. It's given me 40 more years to live! I can smoke, I can drink and eat as much junk food as I like! Hah! I've never felt so healthy and alive! See this?

  [Tears up his will] 

  Susan Harper : Your will!

  Abi Harper : My inheritance!

  Roger Bailey : My freedom! Hahahahahahahahaha!