My Family (TV Series)
Much Ado About Ben (2000)
Daniela Denby-Ashe: Janey Harper
Quotes
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Susan : [Identifying who has called her, crying] Oh, Doreen, my yoga teacher. Poor thing. While she was becoming one with the universe, her husband was becoming one with an accounts manager from Croydon.
Janey Harper : That's terrible!
Nick Harper : No, Croydon ain't that bad.
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Susan : Janey, would you help me, please?
Janey Harper : Yeah, I'd love to, mum. But in order to win, I've got to be caller number five. Rules of the contest are very strict.
Susan : The rules of the house are very strict: help out or you win no radio for a month!
Janey Harper : Look, I've got a 1-in-30,000 chance here!
Susan : In fact, you could win a whole media blackout - no radio, TV, video...
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Janey Harper : [On Nick not helping Susan clean the house] Well, I think it's sexist!
Nick Harper : It's not that men do nothing. It's that women do too much. Besides, you enjoy cleaning.
Susan : [Gives a stern look]
Nick Harper : Crossed a line there, didn't I?
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Susan : Janey, would you dust the piano, please?
Janey Harper : And what do I get for helping?
Susan : My undying gratitude.
Janey Harper : It's a lose-lose situation!
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Nick Harper : [to Susan] Did you happen to find my underpants?
Janey Harper : [Picks up his underpants without realising it, then throws it away] NICK!
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Janey Harper : Why are older men always going after younger women?
Nick Harper : I don't know. Maybe it's because they're younger.
Janey Harper : Well, how would you feel if older women only wanted younger men?
Nick Harper : Great! Either way, I win!
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Ben Harper : So, what's a-happening, dude?
Janey Harper : Well, I was trying to win tickets to the Marilyn Manson concert.
Ben Harper : Marilyn Manson - she's great!
Janey Harper : It's a he, dad.
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Janey Harper : Why don't you just have the yoga class in Nick's room?
Nick Harper : A bunch of sweaty babes in skimpy tights? I'm in!
Susan : I'm the youngest sweaty babe in the group.
Nick Harper : I'm out!
