My Family (TV Series)

Get Cartier (2001)

Paul Trussell: Mooo

Quotes 

• Mooo : A little gift from my uncle to say thank you for hiring me.

  Ben Harper : Hire... no. Look, Mr Mooo, erm... no more gifts, alright? And as you're now my assistant, I would like you to assist me in taking this and the, erm... tyres and the 40lbs of meat back to your uncle.

  Mooo : And hurt his feelings? No way!

  Ben Harper : No, no, no, no! He... he won't be offended.

  Mooo : Tell that to the last bloke that returned one of his gifts. Oh, wait - you can't!

• Ben Harper : Am I right in assuming you're not Mrs Shapiro, my nine o'clock?

  [Mooo gives a thumbs up] 

  Ben Harper : And, er, would I be right in assuming that the doors had in fact at one point been locked?

  Mooo : Oh, well, you could use better ones - like a deadbolt or a double latch. And the one round the back's no use at all - er... at least, not any more.

  Ben Harper : Why do I get the feeling you're an associate of Mr Smith?

  Mooo : He's my uncle.

  Ben Harper : He's, ah... family.

  Mooo : I'm his nephew, Mooo.

  Ben Harper : Mooo? Mooo, as in cute little milk cow?

  Mooo : Mooo, as in "Mooo' your bloody arse!"