My Family (TV Series)

Driving Miss Crazy (2001)

Nickolas Grace: Mr. Casey

Quotes 

• Susan Harper : How is everything since, erm, everything?

  Mr. Casey : Since Emma died? Oh, everyone's been very kind. It was a bit rough at first, but then I thought to myself, why not buy a dog?

  Ben : Several reasons - the first of which is lying on my doorstep!

• Ben : Wasn't it your dog that's been crapping up my garden?

  Mr. Casey : Yes, but it's your fence that's got the hole in it! I suggest you mend it!

  Ben : I suggest you put a cork up your dog's arse!

• Mr. Casey : Mr Harper, I think you've got my newspaper!

  Ben : I think you've got 8cm of my garden!

  Mr. Casey : I think you've been throwing snails over my fence!

  Ben : I think you've been mowing your lawn at 11 o'clock at night!

  Mr. Casey : I think you don't mow your lawn at all!

  Ben : [pause]  It's a wilderness garden!

  Mr. Casey : [Points to Nick]  And you've been letting him sunbathe out there - in the nude!

  Susan Harper : He never did that!

  Nick : Yes, I did!

  Mr. Casey : ...while my mother was out there taking tea!

  Ben : Oh, really? She shouldn't have been looking!

  Mr. Casey : He was up a tree!

  Nick : I'm a child of nature!

• Ben : [Reading Mr Casey's newspaper]  Oh, look at this - obituaries! Oh, that's marvellous. Isn't it funny, though? It's always some dull fart you've never heard of. Usually a civil servant.

  Mr. Casey : My wife was a civil servant. Was she a dull fart, Mr Harper?

• Susan Harper : One of the important things about negotiations is to look for the middle ground - because it's never the case that one side is completely right and the other side is completely wrong.

  Mr. Casey : Yes, it is!

  Susan Harper : Isn't there room for give and take?

  Mr. Casey : Of course. If he gives me an apology, I'll take it!

• Ben : Ah, Mr Casey. How lovely to see you.

  Mr. Casey : Now look here, Mr Harper! I demand an apology!

  Susan Harper : Well, you can't have it!

  Ben : I apologise.

  Susan Harper : What?

  Ben : It's all my fault.

  Mr. Casey : Oh. Well, I'm prepared to bury the hatchet if you agree to certain conditions.

  Susan Harper : Never!

  Ben : Sure! Fire away!

  Mr. Casey : For a start, stop blasting loud, hideous music at night!

  Susan Harper : We like hideous music!

  Ben : That's no problem.

  Mr. Casey : Secondly, that fence is staying where it is!

  Ben : Absolutely. And strictly speaking, as it's my fence, I should... pay for it?

  Mr. Casey : Oh. Well. Alright. But I'm not paying for that shed.

  Susan Harper : Arsonist!

  Ben : Susan. Susan. Please?

  Mr. Casey : Ah... I want you to pay a professional gardener to come and tidy up that jungle!

  Ben : Yep. Consider it done.

  Mr. Casey : And I want to park my car across your drive whenever I like!

  Ben : Whatever you want. It's alright. Anything else?

  Mr. Casey : Yes. I want... I want... I want that photo frame!