My Family (TV Series)

Awkward Phase (2000)

Kris Marshall: Nick Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael Harper : It's my first time on a date with a girl and I know I'm going to do something pants. God, I don't even know the rules!

  Nick Harper : Ah, these are the noughties, Michael. There aren't any.

  Michael Harper : But I mean, boys have all the responsibilities and girls... they have an easy time of it. They can go as far as they want, then whenever they want, they can just say 'stop'.

  Nick Harper : OK. That's the one rule. I mean, a guy's got an obligation to stop if a girl tells him to.

  Michael Harper : No, but what if she doesn't say stop? What do I do then?

  Nick Harper : Just a quick 'Thank you, God' would just about do it!

• Nick Harper : I've fixed your chair.

  Ben Harper : You what?

  Susan : It wasn't broken.

  Nick Harper : Well, I got rid of the squeak.

  Ben Harper : You got rid of the... I like the squeak! I love the squeak! I... I sit in my chair, I hear my squeak and it reminds me that I'm not quite dead!

  Susan : He's in a mood.

  Ben Harper : It's not a mood, it's life! Just leave things alone, Nick! Just please! If it's broken, don't fix it! If it's lying there, don't pick it up! If it's dripping, don't let it flood! But Nick, please don't touch anything anymore!

  Nick Harper : Dad! Relax, man! I'll put the squeak back!

• Janey Harper : You know, I can't believe you're letting a 12-year-old out on a date.

  Susan : Well, like it or not, he's growing up.

  Nick Harper : What? You never let me go out on my own when I was that age!

  Susan : Well, maybe we should have.

  Ben Harper : Yeah, and changed the locks.

• Ben Harper : I tell you, Susan, sometimes I think things couldn't get worse.

  Susan : Try and look on the bright side, darling.

  Ben Harper : That *is* the bright side - things can always get worse.

  Nick Harper : Hey!

  Ben Harper : I rest my case.

• Nick Harper : Er, is this a radish? Because I don't think they have radishes in Hawaii.

  Susan : The dish is called Hawaiian Medley Surprise! The radish *is* the surprise!

• Boss : You've left it blank where it says 'experience'.

  Nick Harper : Well, I don't have any 'experience' experience. But I do have ninja focus.

  Boss : Right.

  Nick Harper : It's very impressive in action.

  Boss : Er... you said your birthday is June 15th. What year?

  Nick Harper : Every year. The moustache is, er, new, though. But it can always come off.

• Janey Harper : I wasn't allowed out with a boy until I was 13-and-a-half! And you both followed us to the cinema!

  Susan : That wasn't us!

  Janey Harper : Yeah, right! I asked Charlie for some popcorn and all of a sudden, dad reaches out from behind and offers me some!

  Ben : Still wasn't us!

  Susan : Even if it had been, that was then and this is now.

  Ben : Exactly! We're humans - we're allowed to change.

  Janey Harper : No. You're not.

  Nick Harper : Who are you? What have you done with our real parents?