My Family (TV Series)

Absent Vixen, Cheeky Monkey (2002)

Zoë Wanamaker: Susan Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Susan : And you know I don't allow eating in the bedroom.

  Nick : I bet you don't say that to Dad.

• [first lines] 

  [Susan is searching in the closet] 

  Susan : Ben, where's the Mr Muscle?

  [Ben pushes her into the closet, closing the door behind them. They reemerge, disheveled] 

  Susan : That's not what I meant.

• Susan : You're lying, aren't you?

  Ben : Well, if I say I am, you're going to stand here and argue, and if I say I'm not, you're going to stand here and argue; so, good-night. Let me know who won in the morning.

• [last lines] 

  Ben : You don't want a room. You don't need a room.

  Susan : Yes, I do. For my music.

  Ben : What, what, what music?

  Nick : [Nick brings cello to Susan]  Here you go, Maestro.

  Susan : I thought I'd take up the cello again. I need something to fill the void in my soul.

  [starts to play] 

  Ben : All right, Susan. Please, you win. I really miss Janey.

• Susan : You will be careful, Janey, won't you with money and boys?

  Michael : Oh, don't worry mum. According to this student guide, they have counsellors for sexually transmitted diseases.

• Susan : [Worried about Janey moving to Manchester]  That city just seems so hard, cold and pitiless.

  Ben : Believe me, she'll fit right in.

• Susan : Every time I walk past Janey's room, I feel an emptiness waiting to be filled.

  Ben : Yeah, I know. I know what you mean.

  Susan : Really?

  Ben : Yeah. Spare room!

• Ben : I've always wanted to take up photography.

  Susan : How can you be so heartless? I want to take up photography.

• Susan : How could you even think of taking Janey's room? Your own room is a disgrace.

  Nick : I know. That's why I want this one.

  Ben : You can't have this room. And even if you could have this room, which you can't, you can't have this room until you've tidied up your own room.

  Nick : So what you're saying is I that can never have this room.

  Ben : Right.

  Nick : What, never?

  Ben : Nope.

  Nick : Never ever ever?

  Susan , Ben : No.

  Nick : Right. Well, I'll be off. When I come back, I want you to have changed your mind.

  Susan , Ben : No.

  Nick : Never ever ever?

  Ben : Just get out!

• Susan : You must be a little bit excited.

  Susan , Janey Harper : Er, I can safely say that this is the most exciting day of my entire life!

  Susan : See?

  Janey Harper : I'm finally blowing this dump!

  Susan : You know, it's funny about you, Janey. Sometimes you come over as a right ungrateful cow.

  Janey Harper : Aww, thanks for the 'sometimes', mum!

• Susan : You're being sarcastic now.

  Ben : I'm not.

  Susan : There you go again.

  Ben : I can't win, can I? No matter what I say or do, someone comes along and spoils things.

  Janey Harper : Dad?

  Ben : See what I mean?

  Janey Harper : Can I have £500 spending money?

  Ben : Yes, of course you can, dear!

  Janey Harper : [Runs off happy] 

  Ben : Now *that's* being sarcastic!

• Ben : What's this?

  Nick : Yellowfin tuna, 79p.

  Ben : I know what it is! What is it?

  Nick : Homework.

  Ben : What?

  Nick : I got a bit behind with the pricing, so I had to bring some home with me.

  Ben : What? It's clogging up my hobbies room!

  Nick : Ah, so it's your room now, is it?

  Ben : Yes, it's my room! It's not the fish room, it's not the tin room, it's not even Nick's Hair-Brained S... What? Did you get this from the shop?

  Nick : That's right.

  Susan : Does the manager know you've taken it?

  Nick : Hah! You kidding? He's already looking for the slightest excuse to sack me. I think he feels threatened.

  Susan : What possible reason could he have to sack you?

  Ben : Er, what? Like taking a lot of tuna and hiding it in his sister's bedroom?

  Nick : Yeah, that kind of thing!

  Ben : Nick, do you know how serious this is?

  Nick : Well, I have heard that dolphins can get caught in the nets.

  Ben : What were you going to do once you've priced it up?

  Nick : Take it back to the shop two cans at a time. It'll only take 5-10 years.