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Quotes
...and I'll Cry If I Want To
My Family
Edit
Roger
: Don't be such a Scrooge!
Ben
: For your information, Scrooge was the misunderstood hero of the book until the end, when Dickens copped out and made him nice.
Ben
: Why can't we knock Kenzo out with cough medicine and pretend we had a party?
Susan
: Why can't I just knock *you* out with cough medicine and pretend you had a wife?
Susan
: It seems like only yesterday it was Janey's third birthday...
Ben
: ...when it was only thousands of pounds ago.
Ben
: I've got a little problem. Just a *tiny* disparity between how much I spent on your mother's Christmas present and how much she spent on mine.
Michael
: How tiny?
Ben
: [
hesitantly
] £1,197.53.
Ben
: What can I get your mother? I mean, you talk to her.
Michael
: How about an Xbox?
Ben
: Nope. She doesn't get off on those movies. God knows I've tried.
Michael
: That's the kind of thought you should keep inside your head.
Ben
: Come on. What does your mother want?
Michael
: Well...
Ben
: And don't say her freedom.
Michael
: Oh. Well, in that case, I've got nothing.
Susan
: I thought we were going to talk about Kenzo's party.
Janey
: Mum, why do you always have to control everything?
Susan
: I'm so sorry, dear. I didn't mean to. What have you got in mind for Kenzo's party?
Janey
: [
thinks
] Actually, your plan sounds good. Let's go with that.
Grace
: I never forgot your birthday.
Susan
: That's because it co-incided with the Munich Beer Festival.
Grace
: If anyone needs an Aspirin, I do!
Ben
: [
in a gremlin's voice
] Why don't you swallow the whole bottle, you old bat?
Michael
: How's it going? How are you finding us?
Alfie
: Yeah. Your family are very nice.
Michael
: Give it time.
Susan
: [
after finishing baking Kenzo's birthday cake
] I'd like to see Nigella make a cake without butter, flour and sugar!
Alfie
: [
at the Harpers' front door
] I'm a friend of Nick's.
Ben
: [
gasps
] Nick alert!
[
nearly shuts the front door on Alfie's face
]
Alfie
: You must be Michael.
[
comes over to hug him, but Michael stops him
]
Michael
: Whoa! In this family, we do not display signs of affection... or affection.
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