Ben : I've got a little problem. Just a *tiny* disparity between how much I spent on your mother's Christmas present and how much she spent on mine.
Michael : How tiny?
Ben : [hesitantly] £1,197.53.
Ben : What can I get your mother? I mean, you talk to her.
Michael : How about an Xbox?
Ben : Nope. She doesn't get off on those movies. God knows I've tried.
Michael : That's the kind of thought you should keep inside your head.
Ben : Come on. What does your mother want?
Michael : Well...
Ben : And don't say her freedom.
Michael : Oh. Well, in that case, I've got nothing.
Michael : How's it going? How are you finding us?
Alfie : Yeah. Your family are very nice.
Michael : Give it time.
Alfie : You must be Michael.
[comes over to hug him, but Michael stops him]
Michael : Whoa! In this family, we do not display signs of affection... or affection.
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