Michael Lembeck: Clete Mizenheimer

Quotes 

• Clete Meizenheimer : Hi! I'm Clete Mizenheimer doing an on-the-spot report with some of the people actually, physically, personally involved in this ongoing tragedy of terror. Now, uh, ah!

  [looking around, spies Loretta scribbling in a notepad] 

  Clete Meizenheimer : Here's a young lady right here! Hello, your name is?

  Loretta Haggers : I'm Loretta Haggers, friend and neighbor of the hostage.

  Clete Meizenheimer : Oh, a friend and neighbor of the hostage, I see. Well, how do you feel about your friend in there being trapped?

  Loretta Haggers : Oh, well, personally, I feel very terrible about it. See, and as a result I have begun to write this tune about the horrendous hours that we've all experienced here of the unknowing, the waiting, the uncertainty, and the sweat and tension that is climaxing in each of us.

  Clete Meizenheimer : Yeah, I feel it, too.

• Loretta Haggers : My song is called "Ballad of a Hostage," which is of course Mrs. Mary Hartman.

  Charlie Haggers : Honey, we don't have the guitar.

  Loretta Haggers : Oh, that's all right, Charlie, I'm gonna sing acapella.

  [bursts into song] 

  Loretta Haggers : Oh, she was a good ol' girl! / Just as swee-wee-weet as she can be / Till the day that someone crazy grabbed ahold of her / Said, gal, come along with me! / Oh, don't you stay in no Chinese laundry, Mary! / Don't stay with no killer and his gun! / Just keep your heart set right on Jesus / And run, sweet Mary, better run / Oh, yeah, run, sweet Mary, better run - !

  Clete Meizenheimer : [exasperated, attempting to interrupt, finally shouts]  Thank you! Back to you in the studio, Chet!