Mad TV (TV Series)

Episode #2.19 (1997)

Bob Marley: Self

Quotes 

• Bob Marley : This woman came up to me in a dress that was about... yeah it was about this

  [waist length] 

  Bob Marley : long. She said 'I'll spank you for $20'. I didn't know what to do, I called my mom I said 'Hey mom, you can make a lot of money out here'.

• Bob Marley : You ever get your mother to the point she's got no choice but to threaten you WITH your father? You know, 'wait till your father gets home, heh heh heh!' My sister and I just laughed like hell because my dad didn't care about anything but his tools. Don't EVER touch your father's tools, he'd be walking around fuming I said 'what's the matter, Dad?' He said 'I'll tell you what's the matter, 20 minutes ago I had a hammer right here, do you see a hammer there now? No you don't!' I said 'Well maybe those hammer fairies took it, Dad', he said 'Oh the hammer fairies your ass!'

• Bob Marley : I was walking up the driveway when I heard a light switch click.

  [gasps] 

  Bob Marley : I grabbed a twig, I tried to hide. I was hoping it'd be my father, not a chance in hell! There she stood, big sweater pulling crazy woman. 'Where are you you little bastard? I know you're out there, I know you're out, I see you hiding behind that twig there!'