M*A*S*H (TV Series)
The Yalu Brick Road (1979)
David Ogden Stiers: Maj. Charles Winchester
Quotes
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Major Charles Winchester : Me? Wash and clean? I'm a doctor, not a woman!
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Maj. Charles Winchester : Apparently the good Father's been most effective, Margaret. What these, uh, people appear to need now is rest and attention. In other words, nursing. I'll just pop out for a quick shower and a short nap. Let me know if a doctor's needed.
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Step one foot outside that door, buster, and YOU'LL need a doctor! There are bedpans to be cleaned, linen to be washed. Someone'll have to turn to in the kitchen. You can start with the linen.
Maj. Charles Winchester : Start what with the linen, Major?
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Washing it!
Maj. Charles Winchester : Margaret, surely you... jest.
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Okay, you can start with the bedpans and work your way up.
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Maj. Charles Winchester : Colonel, what's wrong? You look awful.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : I'm glad you noticed. I'd hate to feel this rotten and have it be my little secret.
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Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Major, when I say I want clean sheets, I want them clean, not battleship gray.
Maj. Charles Winchester : Major, I have slaved over this cesspool until my back aches and my hands--my hands are prunes!
Father Francis Mulcahy : Please, Major, at a time like this, the less said about prunes...