- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Is that still your first patient Winchester? I'm on my third.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: He's probably running his credit.
- Father Francis Mulcahy: Klinger, I know where we may be able to find some penicillin.
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: Oh yeah? Where?
- Father Francis Mulcahy: Well, I can't tell you that.
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: Then how are we gonna get there?
- Father Francis Mulcahy: Oh, yes... well, I better drive.
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: Then what do you need me for?
- Father Francis Mulcahy: I can't divulge that either.
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: Ok, I've been on blind dates before.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: [Attempting to wake B.J. up] How do you like that guy? He only works 19 hours, and all he can think about is sleep.