The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour (TV Series)

The Celebrity Next Door (1957)

Tallulah Bankhead: Tallulah Bankhead

Quotes 

• Lucy Ricardo : Are you asking me to leave?

  Tallulah Bankhead : 'Throwing you out' would be more appropriate.

  Lucy Ricardo : Let me tell you something, Tallulah Bankhead, I've been thrown out of better places than this!

  Tallulah Bankhead : You have never BEEN in better places than this!

• Lucy Ricardo : [Ethel, posing as the Ricardos' maid, is lavishing praise on Tallulah Bankhead while serving dinner]  Ethel... Ethel Mae... will you PLEASE stop boring Miss Bankhead?

  Tallulah Bankhead : [Slowly turns to face Lucy]  When Miss Bankhead is bored, Miss Bankhead will let you know.

• Tallulah Bankhead : My good woman would you kindly leave the premises before I grab your pink hair and pull it out by its black roots!

• Lucy Ricardo : [Ethel, posing as the Ricardos' maid, is lavishing praise on Tallulah Bankhead while serving dinner]  Ethel... Ethel Mae... will you PLEASE stop boring Miss Bankhead?

  Tallulah Bankhead : [slowly turns to face Lucy]  When Miss Bankhead is bored, Miss Bankhead will let you know.

• Tallulah Bankhead : [unknown to Miss Bankhead and Lucy, the butler, Winslow, has put a freshly-painted chair in the kitchen to dry, just as Lucy comes by, dressed for her trip into town]  Sit down, dahling, have a cup of coffee with me, will you?

  Lucy Ricardo : Oh, I really can't. I - I want to get into New York, and get back before the play tonight.

  Tallulah Bankhead : Nonsense, nonsense. Now, you have time for a cup of coffee, now sit down and have a cup of coffee.

  Lucy Ricardo : [Lucy gives in, sits down, finds that her dress and gloves are covered with white paint, assumes the accident was intentional, and the insults start flying]  Let me tell you something, Tallulah Bankhead, Ethel Mertz may think you're the greatest actress in the world, but not me. All you can do is, 'Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha, dahling'... I'll get even with you for getting even with me if it's the last thing I do.

  Tallulah Bankhead : [as Lucy storms out]  If you do, it will be! And another thing: You do a *revolting* imitation of me!

  Lucy Ricardo : [briefly reappearing at the back door]  SO DO YOU!

• Ricky Ricardo : I'm terrible at remembering names.

  Tallulah Bankhead : Oh, so am I. That's why I call everybody "darling."

• Lucy Ricardo : Let me get this straight, Ms. Bankhead. Are you asking me to leave your home?

  Tallulah Bankhead : Throwing you out would be more accurate.

  Lucy Ricardo : Well, I have been thrown out of better places than this!

  Tallulah Bankhead : You have never *been* in better places than this!