- June Cleaver: Dear, I have to wait for Mr. Johnson. Could you take my grocery list, and go to the market?
- Ward Cleaver: Well, I'd like to Dear, but don't you remember? I have a dentist appointment.
- June Cleaver: Then you can't get my groceries?
- Ward Cleaver: Well, I think a dentist appointment is more important. Don't you, Beaver?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Sure, Dad. If all your teeth fall out, you won't have anything to eat groceries with, anyways.
- June Cleaver: Wally, I wonder if you'd mind going to the supermarket for me.
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: Well, I guess I could. I'm not hardly doing anything.
- June Cleaver: [lecturing tone] Wally, you never use 'not' and 'hardly' together. Either you're not doing anything, or you're hardly doing anything.
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: Oh. I wasn't sure, so I stuck 'em both in.
- [Wally and Eddie enter the Cleaver house and see no one around]
- Edward 'Eddie' Haskell: Hey Wally, nobody's home. Let's call up some girls and pretend we're talent scouts.
- [June walks out from the den to greet the boys]
- June Cleaver: Hello, Eddie.
- Edward 'Eddie' Haskell: Oh. Hi, Mrs. Cleaver. Gee Mrs. Cleaver, your hair looks real pretty today.
- June Cleaver: Well, you should know Eddie, being a talent scout.
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: Hey, Eddie. How come you're always givin' Beaver the business?
- Edward 'Eddie' Haskell: I'm not givin' him the business. I'm just tryin' to wise him up. I don't want him going out into the world and getting slaughtered!
- June Cleaver: You know, both of you boys should watch your grammar.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Gee, Mom, this is Saturday - they make us watch it all week in school.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Who was on the phone, Mom?
- June Cleaver: Oh, that was the nursery, Beaver.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: No foolin'? Are we gonna have a baby brother?
- June Cleaver: No, Beaver. This is the kind of nursery that brings plants and flowers.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: [slightly disappointed] Oh. I thought it was the kind that brought baby brothers.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Look, Wally! It's a radio with a clock in its middle.
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: Boy, Beaver. And I was beginning to think that lady was just giving you the business.
- June Cleaver: It's a very nice present, Beaver. You can use it to get to school on time!
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Yeah. And I can use it for good stuff, too!