- [first lines]
- Billy: I realize it's not easy to tell, but is Smiler looking more miserable than usual?
- Tom: He's looking for love.
- Billy: Have you thought of getting married instead? With a face like that it's much more suitable.
- Smiler: I've been married. She left me.
- Tom: I expect she couldn't stand the excitement.
- Smiler: She shoulda said. I coulda lowered me sparkle a bit.
- Billy: Maybe it's nothing personal, Smiler. Maybe she thought tha were dead.
- Smiler: Live enough for the right person. I don't want anything flash.
- Billy: Well, that's just as well because I don't think tha's going to get anything flash.
- Tom: Have you any experience of flash?
- Smiler: I play the mouth organ.
- Tom: Only sadly.
- Smiler: I like sadly.
- Billy: Ai. Enough. If I want depressing it's available at 'ome, in all sizes. My lass and her sister keep a full range.
- [last lines]
- Barry: [indicating very tall] Oh...
- [indicating much shorter]
- Barry: like that.
- [indicating various widths]
- Barry: And and sort of, you know... quite...
- Nora Batty: Oh, really!
- Barry: He was, he was... He had a hat!
- Ivy: Who do you think's going to be listening to your business? You don't think anybody's interested in your business!
- [to Billy]
- Ivy: Who is he?
- Billy: His tango instructor.
- Ivy: Tango you in a minute!
- Clegg: No, they're, um, they're sort of vaguely related.
- Ivy: Oh, you mean like Billy is to his brains.
- Billy: I love coming here. Just like being at 'ome.