L.A. Law (TV Series)

Hand Roll Express (1988)

Harry Hamlin: Michael Kuzak

Quotes 

• Arnie Becker : It's almost 10 o'clock, Roxanne!

  Roxanne Melman : Sorry.

  Arnie Becker : Did you bring your financial files?

  Roxanne Melman : No.

  Arnie Becker : No?

  [Kuzak closes the door] 

  Roxanne Melman : Look, I appreciate both of you taking the time that you have. But I've changed my mind. I'm going to take the fifth.

  Michael Kuzak : Roxanne, once they've granted you full immunity, you have no right to take the fifth.

  Roxanne Melman : But they can't keep me in jail once I see that it won't make me change my mind.

  Arnie Becker : Did your boyfriend tell you that?

  Roxanne Melman : Isn't it true?

  Michael Kuzak : Oh, yes... but a judge can keep you in jail for up to a year before he decides that it won't change your mind. What's more, the U.S. Attorney's Office could withdraw the immunity agreement and prosecute you for insider trading and mail fraud. Now why go through all of that?

  Roxanne Melman : Because one day this is going to be over. One day I'm going to say goodbye to McKenzie/Brackman and make a life with Jimmy. So whatever else happens, I can't do anything to hurt him.

  Arnie Becker : Doesn't it bother you at all that those brokerage accounts were in your name?

  Roxanne Melman : No, it doesn't. Jimmy was in the middle of a divorce and he didn't want his wife to find out about them.

  Arnie Becker : Why didn't he tell you that?

  Roxanne Melman : He was going to tell me... as soon as the divorce became final.

  Arnie Becker : Well, that sounds real convincing coming from a straight arrow like him.

  Roxanne Melman : Michael, please, tell the federal prosecutor that the immunity deal you made is off.

  Michael Kuzak : Absolutely not. If you're intent on putting yourself through this kind of a ringer, I want you to march into open court tomorrow and tell him and the judge yourself. Maybe between now and then, you'll come to your senses.

  Arnie Becker : He's got her too twisted for that. She's set.

• U.S. Attorney Donald Kelly : [Arnie has arrived in the courtroom and take a seat and listening to Roxanne's testimony]  Please state your name and address?

  Roxanne Melman : Roxanne Melman, 1509 Cheremoya.

  U.S. Attorney Donald Kelly : And do you acquainted with the defendant, James Markham?

  Roxanne Melman : Yes.

  U.S. Attorney Donald Kelly : Miss Melman, have you ever sold or bought stocks?

  Roxanne Melman : Yes.

  U.S. Attorney Donald Kelly : And has the defendant ever offered you any advice as to which stocks to buy and sell?

  [Roxanne pause and looking at Jimmy. Michael listen to Roxanne's testimony] 

  U.S. Attorney Donald Kelly : Miss Melman?

  Roxanne Melman : I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to incriminate me.

  Michael Kuzak : Your Honor, may I have a short recess to confer with my client?

  Roxanne Melman : Your Honor, I don't need to confer.

  Judge Cyril Hodges : Approach the bench.

  [Mr. Kuzak and Mr. Kelly approached the sidebar of Judge Cyril Hodges. Stanley Niles talk to his client Jimmy Markham] 

  Judge Cyril Hodges : Miss Melman, as I would hope your attorney has advised you since the U.S. Attorney's Office has offered you full immunity from prosecution, you're in no danger of self-incrimination. As such I'm ordering you to answer.

  Roxanne Melman : With all due respect to the court, Your Honor, I refuse to answer anyway.

  U.S. Attorney Donald Kelly : The prosecution asks that the witness be held in contempt.

  Michael Kuzak : Your Honor, I insist on speaking to my client.

  Roxanne Melman : No, Michael, there's nothing to say.

  Judge Cyril Hodges : Do you understand that you'll be taken to the Sybil Brand Institute for Women and held there until you do decide to cooperate?

  Roxanne Melman : That day will never come.

  Judge Cyril Hodges : Tell me that again after you've been in jail. Take the witness into custody.

  [the Court Security Officer of the United States Marshals Service takes Roxanne Melman as a witness into custody for contempt of court and refuses to testify against the defendant Jimmy Markham. Arnie is seeing Roxanne off to jail. The Court Security Officer takes Roxanne Melman and escorted her out of the courtroom. Jimmy seeing Roxanne heading into custody. Michael Kuzak dealing with Jimmy Markham. Arnie Becker sits for a while] 

• Leland McKenzie : While I'm sure we're all glad that Roxanne is out of her legal difficulties, by this time we're aware that hers were not the only indiscretions committed. While personal investments are, as a rule, personal business, anyone trading on stock tips even remotely questionable is compromising the integrity of this firm. I trust that those of you involved will take appropriate steps to rectify the situation.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Leland, if I may, the only thing I would add is that since Roxanne's matter with the U.S. Attorney's Office is concluded, I'd like to give her 2 weeks' notice before the close of business today and start interviewing for a replacement.

  Michael Kuzak : Now wait a minute, it hasn't been established that Roxanne knew that those tips were illegal.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : That maybe, but this isn't a criminal prosecution. It's a law firm depending upon the good judgment of its employees. Roxanne let us down. Get rid of her.

  Stuart Markowitz : Uh-uh. If she didn't know the tips were based on inside information, how can we punish her?

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : And what was her conduct when she did know? Did she immediately offer her cooperation to the federal prosecutor and seek to contain the damage or was her first priority to shield her paramour and further involved this firm's time and manpower in some tawdry little melodrama?

  Arnie Becker : Who the hell are you to vilify her? How many times have you had to call out for help for the simple reason that you couldn't keep your fly zipped?

  Leland McKenzie : All right, Arnold, let's not get into that now.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Whatever past scrapes, I've gotten into, I've never put this firm in jeopardy.

  Arnie Becker : For all your sanctimonious braying, Douglas, neither has she.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Well, I don't intend to let this drop.

  Arnie Becker : Fine, let me make things very clear then. You can express your outrage about this incident. We can have a series of discussions about moral consequences, situational ethics, or whatever you want. Just so you know, if you fire Roxanne, I walk out right behind her.

  [Arnie leaves and heads out of the Conference room. Ann Kelsey is to blame for Roxanne's insider trading. Leland and Douglas need a moment of silence] 

• Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Jonathan, McMurray vs. Brinkley.

  Jonathan Rollins : Uh, $185,000 award plus costs.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : That brings Mr. Rollins to 5 and 0. I'd like to see those kind of stats from some other people around here. Seidell tax audits?

  Stuart Markowitz : Yeah, I'm not going to have anything definitive on that until Friday.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Emile's vs. Southland Magazine.

  Victor Sifuentes : Opening arguments scheduled for today.

  Abby Perkins : Your case may be a editorial section of the L.A. Times today.

  Jonathan Rollins : I never would've thought a restaurant review could generate this kind of controversy.

  Stuart Markowitz : Are you kidding? Lorna Landsberg - Who by the way I'd love to meet sometime if you could.

  [Victor nodded] 

  Stuart Markowitz : She's probably the most influential food critic around. She makes and breaks restaurant.

  Victor Sifuentes : More importantly this is potentially a landmark First Amendment case. The same elements that were in Westmoreland vs. CBS, Tavoulareas vs. the Washington Post, Sharon vs. Time Magazine. They're all there. It is the kind of case that makes laws.

  Michael Kuzak : Immortality, Victor. Nothing less.

  Leland McKenzie : It's a serious issue though, if you don't have a free press if they're cowered by fear of being sued.

  Arnie Becker : Yeah, but on the other hand, is the press entitled to be malicious if it means this guy with the restaurant suffers.

  [Leland shrugged] 

  Michael Kuzak : Was H.L. Mencken malicious? Lincoln Steffens, was he malicious? If you don't like someone's opinion, it's easy to call him malicious.

  Stuart Markowitz : Yeah, and there's something else really important to consider here. We now have a client who knows Spago's private number. We'll never be shut out a table there again.

  [Ann laughs. Jonathan laughs, too] 

  Arnie Becker : Could you find out for me, Victor, if she knows of a restaurant that's serving Chinese food from the Hakka region? I think that this might be the next big cuisine.

  [Abby and Stuart laughing] 

• Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Folks, we have to discuss one other matter before we conclude. Michael, what's going on with the United States of America vs. Roxanne Melman's own true love?

  Michael Kuzak : She's under subpoena. If she agrees to testify against Markham, give up whatever profits she made, U.S. Attorney's willing to let it go at that.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Sounds a lot more lenient than I intend to be.

  Arnie Becker : Meaning what?

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Meaning she's history around here. I'll let her get through with her legal travails first out of compassion, but once they're done, it's good-bye, Charlie.

  Arnie Becker : That's not really your call.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : It most certainly is my call.

  Leland McKenzie : All right, all right. Uh... We'll take this issue up at the partners' meeting.

  Arnie Becker : You bet we will.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : That's it.

  [Douglas closed his gold pocket watch] 

• D.D.A. Grace Van Owen : So on the one hand, more money, more autonomy...

  Michael Kuzak : Mm-hmm.

  D.D.A. Grace Van Owen : More time with you. But on the other hand, Bruce Rogoff.

  Michael Kuzak : He'll be thrilled for you.

  D.D.A. Grace Van Owen : Huh, are you kidding? He'll chew my head off. He hates it when people leave. He'll make me feel guilty for selling out. Besides which what if in 2 months, I can't cut it?

  Michael Kuzak : Well, you'll go crawling back to the D.A.'s office with your incredibly sexy tail between your legs.

  D.D.A. Grace Van Owen : I don't know.

  Michael Kuzak : Well, whatever you decide, you know I'll support you.

  D.D.A. Grace Van Owen : Don't be so damn neutral.

  Michael Kuzak : Well, why don't you go setting me up to make all your decisions for you.

  D.D.A. Grace Van Owen : Michael, I don't know what to do.

  Michael Kuzak : Look, Grace, there are two kinds of mistakes you can make. Ones of commission and ones of omission. You learn from what you do, not from what you love.

  D.D.A. Grace Van Owen : Easy for you to say.

  Michael Kuzak : I guarantee you when the moment comes, you'll know what decision to make.

• [Roxanne Melman and Jimmy Markham are outside the courtroom. Arnie Becker is in the telephone booth] 

  Arnie Becker : She's here.

  [Hangs up the phone] 

  Arnie Becker : Roxanne! Roxanne, where have you been? You're supposed to be here at 9 o'clock!

  Roxanne Melman : Jimmy's lawyer called and said the trial was put till 11:00.

  Arnie Becker : [scoffs]  Ask your boyfriend if it's all right if you consult with your lawyer.

  Jimmy Markham : I got a name, Ace.

  Arnie Becker : I wasn't talking to you.

  Roxanne Melman : Come on, Jimmy, let's go.

  Jimmy Markham : You do pretty good job of talking about me. Why don't you say something to my face?

  Arnie Becker : I'm interested in her.

  Jimmy Markham : Well, I'm in love with her. What's between us doesn't concerned you.

  Arnie Becker : [Yelling]  You're gonna tell me what's concerns me?

  Michael Kuzak : [enters]  Whoa, whoa, we're gonna have a fistfight right here in the corridor?

  Jimmy Markham : Roxanne, everything's gonna be fine.

  [Roxanne kisses Jimmy] 

  Jimmy Markham : I love you.

  Roxanne Melman : Where will you be?

  Jimmy Markham : Attorneys' lounge.

• Michael Kuzak : So have you thought anymore about what you're gonna do in there?

  Roxanne Melman : Yeah. I've thought a lot about it, and there's no way I'm going to testify against him.

  Arnie Becker : This guy got himself a slave girl.

  Michael Kuzak : Arnie, maybe you ought to get a cup of coffee or...

  Arnie Becker : You know something I don't give a damn about the insider trading. But for him to let you take this kind of rap, we've got to be talking about a world-class slug.

  Roxanne Melman : For your information, he doesn't know anything about and he wants me to testify.

  Arnie Becker : What a guy. Did he tell you that?

  Roxanne Melman : Why is it you need to poison my love for him, Arnie? He never did anything to you.

  Arnie Becker : Yeah, but he sure as hell is doing something to you.

  Michael Kuzak : Arnie.

  Roxanne Melman : Forget it, Michael! There's nothing I want to discuss with either of you.

  [Roxanne walks away] 

  Michael Kuzak : Well, that was helpful.

  [Arnie sighs] 

  Michael Kuzak : Come on.