- Sergeant Orkin: You're Kolchak?
- Carl Kolchak: Yeah, that's right.
- Sergeant Orkin: You're the one the precinct captains are always talking about?
- Carl Kolchak: What do they say?
- Sergeant Orkin: That you're a pinwheel.
- Kaz: Hey, why don't you take another cab?
- Conventioneer: [speaking with a hangover] Who do you think you're talking to, cabbie? I am the president of my own feed company. I flew here first class. I'm staying at the Randolph, the biggest hotel in the world. Twenty-four hundred rooms.
- Kaz: Hey, sport, you are not staying at the biggest hotel in the world. The Hotel Rossiya in Moscow has thirty-two hundred rooms and your hotel's nothing.
- Conventioneer: [pauses] Who counts Communists?
- Tony Vincenzo: Carl, do you mind if I read the copy? After all, I am the bureau chief here.
- Carl Kolchak: Yes, absolutely, Tony. Absolutely. Tomorrow morning, first thing, I'll spitball a few ideas at cha.
- Tony Vincenzo: Spitballing a few ideas is when you start a feature, not when you're polishing it.
- Carl Kolchak: No, no. That's the way I work, Tony. See, I spit and polish at the same time.
- Ron Updyke: With the proper food and exercise, you should be able to do everything at ninety that you can do at nineteen.