King of the Hill (TV Series)
Life in the Fast Lane, Bobby's Saga (1998)
Mike Judge: Hank Hill, Boomhauer, Policeman
Quotes
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Hank : Bobby, if you weren't my son, I'd hug you.
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Hank : [Shows Bobby the pace car] So Bobby what do you think?
Bobby Hill : [Feeling the display rope] The rope is soft and pretty
Hank : [sighs] Look at the pace car Bobby, it's what Boomhauer gets to drive if he wins his amateur race.
Bobby Hill : What's a pace car?
Hank : Well it's the car that all the other drivers have to stay behind at the beginning of a race for whenever there's a crash, if Boomhauer wins he'll have the honor of driving on the same track as Dale Earnhardt or as you'd look at it with Jeff Gordon.
Bobby Hill : Jeff Gordon's a race car driver too?, I thought he was just a cereal box model
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Peggy Hill : Bobby, how would you like to go to cooking school?
Bobby Hill : I'm listening.
Hank : Bobby, I know we've never talked about this, but... someday, I'm going to die. And when that happens, then you can go to cooking school.
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Bobby Hill : [Hands Hank a check] Hey dad could you please sign this check, I already filled it out for you
Hank : [Reading the check] Pay to the order of the Bike Barn... one hundred and seventy five dollars!
Bobby Hill : It's for a new BMX bike
Hank : You expect me to just sign this?
Bobby Hill : [Disappointed] I think you have to or it doesn't work
Hank : Bobby these checks aren't magic tickets, they represent real money that I and to a lesser extent your mother worked real hard to earn
Bobby Hill : You can ride it whenever you want
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Hank : [Explaining the importance of money] The point is you don't just get money because you ask for it, you want to end up like Jeff Gordon?
Bobby Hill : I like Jeff Gordon, he's handsome!
Hank : [Gasps then starts laughing nervously] Bobby you joke around like that in public people are gonna think you ain't right
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Dale Gribble : [Looks at the pace car] It's nice but where are the cigarette ads?
Hank : [Spots Dale Earnhardt] Hey look it's Dale Earnhardt and he's coming this way!
Bill Dauterive : [Nervous] Oh, it's "The Intimidater"!
[laughs and runs away]
Boomhauer : [to Dale Earnhardt] Hey man remember that dang old terra third turn in Arlington man?, just turned loose man just made it, woo hoo dog!, I'll tell you what!
Dale Earnhardt : Man this rope sure is soft and pretty, I noticed it when we unloaded my car
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Hank : Ya know Bobby they say old Buck Strickland started out with nothing but a single dollar bill and now he's at the top of the propane ladder, Bobby here's your dollar let's see what you can turn it into
[Later he comes back and sees Bobby bent over doing something with his back turned]
Hank : What are you doing son, did you use that dollar to start a shoe shining business?
Bobby Hill : [Turns around revealing he's eating a taco] What?
Hank : [Shocked] Bobby!
Bobby Hill : You almost made me drop it!
Hank : This is what you spent your dollar on?
Bobby Hill : No I also got a quesadilla, it's from the value menu