- Mitchell Friedman: So, are you a couple?
- Eddie: Who, me and her? Nah, she's gay.
- Fiona: Very funny.
- Eddie: It'd be funny 10 years ago but today it's a totally acceptable lifestyle.
- Eddie: Let me give you a translation from the Eddie dictionary. When someone says to me "play ball," that means "we're a bunch of weasels. Come join us in our weaselness. Be a weasel too. Nobody's looking." I've been called a lot of things but a play ball kinda guy is not one of them.
- Eddie: By the way, Milli called. She said you're okay for tonight.
- [to Mitchell]
- Eddie: Sounds pretty serious, doesn't it?
- Fiona: Mitchell, ignore what you're hearing. Milli's a *friend* from work.
- Eddie: You know, you should bring her by a little more often - we kinda had a "vibe" going, me and her.
- Fiona: She thinks you're crass.
- Eddie: Ah, then again she is gay - I mean, it's biological. What can you do about it? And you guys make such a great couple, i wouldn't want to break that up. Oh, my God, look at the time.