I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)
The Colour of Alan (2002)
Simon Ludders: Builder
Quotes
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Sonja : [holding a pair of cushions with her's and Alan's faces on them] You just take normal photograph into Snappy Snaps and he put photo on cushion. This cushion is called scatter cushion, it's brilliant. I call it scatter love cushion. Because it represent my love for Alan.
Builder : You could sit on his face.
[the other builder laughs]
Sonja : What do you mean?
Builder : You could sit on Alan's face, you know. It's a joke.
Sonja : [starts hitting the builders with the cushions] It's very filthy joke! Alan is hitting you!
Alan Partridge : [intervening] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! That's English for stop a horse!
Sonja : He is being very disgusting.
Alan Partridge : What did he say?
Sonja : He say I sit on your face.
Alan Partridge : [to the builders] Have you been spying on us?
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Alan Partridge : You married?
Builder : Yeah.
Alan Partridge : Divorced. I've got access to the kids but they don't wanna see me!
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Alan Partridge : Hi, John.
John - Builder : [Yorkshire accent] Al. Yeah, we've concreted the floor.
Alan Partridge : No bodies underneath there, I hope.
John - Builder : What?
Alan Partridge : Ah, just joshing with you, y'know?
[does a Yorkshire accent]
Alan Partridge : Have you put t'corpse under t'patio? I expect you get that all the time.
John - Builder : Not really.
Alan Partridge : Actually, that skirting board does seem a bit too low. Could you change it again?
[John rips it off the wall and throws it down, then walks away]
Alan Partridge : [to the other builder, in a Yorkshire accent] Eeee, 'appen 'e thinks I'm a right indecisive tit!
Builder : I don't think he likes it when you do that accent.
Alan Partridge : Well, well... Well, I'll stop, then.