House M.D. (TV Series)
Pilot (2004)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
Photos
Quotes
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Rebecca Adler : I just want to die with a little dignity.
Dr. Gregory House : There's no such thing! Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it! I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass... it's always ugly - ALWAYS! You can live with dignity; we can't die with it!
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Dr. Gregory House : Gorgeous women do *not* go to medical school... unless, they're as damaged as they are beautiful.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Your reputation won't last if you don't do your job. The clinic is part of your job. I want you to do your job.
Dr. Gregory House : But as the philosopher Jagger once said, "You can't always get what you want".
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Dr. Gregory House : Everybody lies.
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Dr. Gregory House : [Dr. House is seeing a patient whose skin is orange, seeking treatment for back pain] Unfortunately, you have a deeper problem. Your wife is having an affair.
Orange Man : What?
Dr. Gregory House : You're *orange*, you moron! It's one thing for *you* not to notice, but if your wife hasn't picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors, she's just not paying attention.
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Dr. Gregory House : [after questioning House's treatment plan for a patient] Why are you so afraid of making a mistake?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Because I'm a doctor. Because when we make mistakes people die.
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Dr. Gregory House : Not many people get to experience muscle death.
Rebecca Adler : Did you think you were dying?
Dr. Gregory House : I hoped I was dying.
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Dr. Eric Foreman : I thought everybody lied?
Dr. Gregory House : Truth begins in lies.
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[last lines]
Reception Nurse : Doctor House? You have a patient.
[they both look thru the glass wall; House sighs]
Reception Nurse : He says he needs a refill.
Dr. Gregory House : [slightly smiling, to Wilson] Got change for a dollar?
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Dr. Gregory House : Oxygen is so important during those prepubescent years, don't you think?
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[to the pharmacist; about to play a trick on a patient]
Dr. Gregory House : I need thirty-six Vicodin and change for a dollar.
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Dr. Gregory House : Everybody lies.
Dr. Allison Cameron : Doctor House doesn't like dealing with patients.
Dr. Eric Foreman : Isn't treating patients why we became doctors?
Dr. Gregory House : No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
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Dr. Gregory House : You idiot!
Dr. James Wilson : Listen, he's...
Dr. Gregory House : [to Wilson] Not you, him.
[to Foreman]
Dr. Gregory House : You said you didn't find anything.
Dr. Eric Foreman : Everything I found was in my...
Dr. Gregory House : You found *ham*.
Dr. Eric Foreman : So?
Dr. Gregory House : Where there's ham, there's *pork*. Where there's pork, there's neurocysticercosis.
Dr. Robert Chase : Tapeworm? You think she's got a worm in her brain?
Dr. Gregory House : It fits. Could have been living there for years.
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Dr. Eric Foreman : As long as it's healthy. So what do we do? Call a vet? Nurse the little guy back to health?
Dr. Gregory House : It's too late for that. It's dying.