Home Improvement (TV Series)

'Twas the Blight Before Christmas (1993)

Tim Allen: Tim Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brad : [Brad wants to go skiing on Christmas eve]  But Mom, it's perfect. I mean, I don't have school and I can take your presents with me and open them there.

  Tim : [to angel statue]  Do you feel the love in this room? Do you?

• Jill : The family is always together on Christmas. We hang our stockings together. We talk to relatives on the phone. You have your new saxophone so you can play along while we sing carols and I'm going to make nana's special oyster pecan stuffing.

  Tim : [Gagging]  Do you suppose there's room for one more skier in that car?

• Tim : This weekend is the Tool Time marathon. 40 straight hours of Tim and Al hijinks.

  Jill : It's also Christmas.

  Tim : It's also Christmas.

• Tim : You lied in church on Christmas Eve? Watch out for those lightning bolts. God doesn't like that stuff.

  Jill : At least I'm not begging the Almighty for two touchdowns and a field goal.

• Al : I remember my first Christmas rebellion: I was so mad. My parents went out and bought an artificial tree. The whole Christmas I refused to sing 'Oh, Tannenbaum'.

  Tim : Oh, my. You were a bad, bad Borland.

  [to Jill] 

  Tim : Are you all right?

  Al : Yeah I'm okay. It was a long time ago.

  Tim : [to Jill]  I meant, are YOU okay?

• Brad : All I wanted to do was be with my friends. A lot of people I like are going to be down there.

  Tim : Christmas is not about being with people you like. It's about being with your family.

• Wilson : Maybe the good doctor has ESP.

  Tim : What does having a cable sports channel have to do with this?

• Al : [In church]  I'll just take a pew behind you.

  Tim : Most people use the bathroom, Al.

• Tim : I would have loved to make Brad come here against his will.

  Jill : That's a great vision for Christmas Eve: The four of us singing hymns, you with Brad in a headlock.

• Al : I saw Mark in his costume. I always wanted to be the letter N.

  Tim : That's impossible, Al. The song specifically says No Al.

  [singing to the tune of Noel] 

  Tim : No Al, No Al, No Al, No Al.

• Tim : All right, you stay in your room. I don't want you sneaking downstairs to watch that Tool Time marathon.

• Tim : What are you doing with the skis?

  Brad : Oh, um, I was gonna donate them to the needy.

  Tim : Yeah, that's just what they need down at the mission. Food and skis.

  Brad : Look, Dad, I explained it all in a note.

  Tim : It better be a good one. "Went skiing. Brad".

• Jill : [In church]  Where are you going?

  Tim : Um, to the little boys' room to take a pew.

• Brad : Dad, it's just one Christmas. I mean, it's not that big a deal.

  Tim : Well it is to your mom and me and to me.

• Wilson : I think you've reached the apex of your Christmas decorating career.

  Tim : I just hope I can convince those stupid judges of that.

  Wilson : Well there's only one judge this year.

  Tim : Only one?

  Wilson : And it's me.

  Tim : Did I say stupid? I meant stupendous.

• Tim : Brad, you put Blitzen's light in Rudolph's nose.

• Tim : [singing]  Jingle Bells / Shotgun shells / Granny's on the run...

• Brad : Why do I have to go?

  Tim : Because God said come and worship, not go and slolam.

• Al : I saw Mark in his little robe. Boy, I always wanted to be the letter N.

  Tim : That's impossible, Al. The song specifically says No Al.

  [singing to the tune of Noel] 

  Tim : No Al, No Al, No Al, No Al.

• Tim : That's our favorite Christmas carol. The Little Engine Boy. Vroom, vroom-vroom-vroom, vroom.