- Claudia Finnerty: [Eddie hangs up the phone] Who was that?
- Eddie Finnerty: You remember my friend, Hope? She's ovulating. I've gotta go over there and give her a baby.
- Lily Finnerty: [Lily sees Brad's new "look"] It's a little busy.
- Brad O'Keefe: It's the layered look. I saw it on that show with the queer guys.
- Lily Finnerty: Brad, they call themselves that! You can't call them that! And you can't wear a jacket under a jacket! It looks...
- Brad O'Keefe: Rugged?
- Lily Finnerty: Like you're stealing clothes!
- Lily Finnerty: [Taunting Jimmy for his lack of a girlfriend] Hey, Uncle Eddie! I hear you have a girlfriend.
- Eddie Finnerty: She's not my girlfriend. I'm just trying to impregnate her.
- Jimmy Finnerty: I hear that!
- Henry Finnerty: Hey, Jimmy! This is my girlfriend, Lexie.
- [to Lexie]
- Henry Finnerty: Jimmy didn't think you existed.
- Jimmy Finnerty: I never said you don't exist.
- Lexie: Because I do!
- Henry Finnerty: Hey, babe! Do you have a friend for my brother?
- Jimmy Finnerty: I'm not dating a 10-year-old!
- Henry Finnerty: Yeah! You're not dating anyone!
- Sister Helen: Who's the woman?
- Eddie Finnerty: It's just this woman I'm trying to impregnate, so we're having lots of meaningless sex.
- Sister Helen: You're kind of out of practice on how to talk to a nun, aren't you?
- Hope: [to Claudia] If you see Eddie, could you tell him to get to my place for the project as soon as he can? And if possible, could he get ready on the way?
- Claudia Finnerty: Why don't you guys go to the cemetery with your dad this afternoon?
- Sean Finnerty: Yeah. It's been a while. That'd be nice. Whaddaya say, Eddie?
- Eddie Finnerty: [Referring to his date to impregnate Hope] Okay. I've got a 3:00, but I can make it by 3:15.
- Sean Finnerty: [Sarcastically] Why don't we make it 4:00? Then you'll have time for a shower.
- Eddie Finnerty: That included time for a shower.
- Claudia Finnerty: [Sarcastically] Hope's a lucky girl!
- Sean Finnerty: Oh! Hey, Mom! Here are some pictures of the kids.
- [holding them facing down, toward the headstone]
- Walt Finnerty: Don't point them down!
- Sean Finnerty: Why not?
- Walt Finnerty: She's in heaven!
- Sean Finnerty: I'm not saying she's in hell!
- [Takes a step back]
- Walt Finnerty: Now you're stepping on her!
- Sean Finnerty: You just said she wasn't down there!
- Eddie Finnerty: I just feel like my life has no meaning.
- Sister Helen: Oh, that can't be true. You must have *some* achievements.
- Eddie Finnerty: All I can think of is my high school track record.
- Sister Helen: Actually, Jordan Ellis shattered that.
- Eddie Finnerty: Who's he?
- Sister Helen: She.