- Jimmy Finnerty: So, are you guys ready to take the SAT?
- Brad O'Keefe: I don't know. I'm pretty sure I can ace the math part, but I'm worried about the verbal. I think it might be obstreperous.
- Jimmy Finnerty: I'm not sure you're using that word right.
- Brad O'Keefe: I know! I just learned it!
- Claudia Finnerty: [Reading from the SAT prep text] "Leaf" is to "tea" as "bean" is to...?
- Lily Finnerty: Burrito.
- Claudia Finnerty: Burrito? It's not burrito, it's coffee! Tea is more like coffee!
- Lily Finnerty: Yeah, but a tea leaf is wrapped in a bag and a bean is wrapped in a burrito. There's no wrapping in coffee!
- Lily Finnerty: [about the homeless man Henry brought home] Well, can we learn to respect him without having to smell him?
- Eddie Finnerty: [Looking at the strange, homeless man who just sat at the other end of the couch] Are you a drummer?
- Henry Finnerty: I can't find Jack!
- Sean Finnerty: Oh, yeah, buddy. Uh, Jack went on a trip.
- Henry Finnerty: A trip to where?
- Sean Finnerty: Oh, he has a cousin who has a farm and there's lots of pastures so Jack and his buddies can run around.
- Henry Finnerty: What kind of a farm?
- Eddie Finnerty: Ostrich.
- Henry Finnerty: Oh, he'll love that!
- Sean Finnerty: [to a couple of belligerent drunks] Hey, can you guys keep it down?
- Belligerent drunk: If we wanna keep it down, we'll go to a better bar!
- Sean Finnerty: Oh, okay. Jack!
- Jack: [comes from the back room] What's the problem, chief?
- [Sean indicates the two drunks]
- Jack: Okay, which do you boys prefer?
- [sets two sixpacks of canned soda on the table]
- Jack: Regular or diet?
- Belligerent drunk: I dunno.
- Jack: [slipping a sixpack into a pillowcase and swinging it] Okay. We're going with diet.
- Eddie Finnerty: Sean, this guy...
- [Indicating Jack]
- Eddie Finnerty: This guy. I'm not really a fan.
- Sean Finnerty: Neither am I, Eddie!
- Eddie Finnerty: So, you want me to take him to a cement factory in Weehawken? Or a ride on my friend's boat at Rockaway?
- Sean Finnerty: [entering] Hey, Henry! What's up?
- Henry Finnerty: I can't find Jack. He was gonna show me how to cook hotdogs with a cigarette lighter!
- Lily Finnerty: So, why don't you? You could go to college!
- Claudia Finnerty: You're right! I could take some classes!
- Lily Finnerty: Yeah! Tons of old people take classes at the community college!