Grounded for Life (TV Series)

Cuts Like a Knife (2003)

Loudon Wainwright III: Dr. Weidlinger

Quotes 

• Sean Finnerty : [Bursts into the examination room, where the doctor and nurse are treating another patient]  I'm here about this bill for a vasectomy!

  Dr. Weidlinger : Which you didn't get! Three times!

  Sean Finnerty : I've changed my mind! I want it now!

  Dr. Weidlinger : I wouldn't give you a vasectomy if you were the last man on Earth!

  Sean Finnerty : I wouldn't need a vasectomy if I was the last man on Earth and you wouldn't be around to give it to me! So, HA!

  Dr. Weidlinger : Okay! You win! But you can pay me anyway!

  Sean Finnerty : For what?

  Dr. Weidlinger : For services rendered!

  Sean Finnerty : There were no services rendered!

  [the doctor makes a circling motion over the supine patient's groin] 

  Sean Finnerty : $750 for a shave?

  Dr. Weidlinger : Its a union job!

• Sean Finnerty : [Flashing back to his vasectomy meltdown]  So, what's next?

  Dr. Weidlinger : You need to be shaved.

  [a dorky-looking male nurse enters with the shaving implements and Sean freaks out] 

  Eddie Finnerty : [Returning to the present]  Actually, if it's done right, it feels kinda nice.