- Eddie Finnerty: [Milking all the sustain out of his Gibson guitar] I'm like young Robert Fripp over here!
- Female nursing home resident: [to Brad] If you're going to sit like that in those athletic shorts, you've got to wear underwear!
- Brad O'Keefe: [On the phone] Lily, I've gotta go!
- Claudia Finnerty: [Discovering a receipt] What's this? You spent $120 on a wah-wah pedal? And what's *that* for?
- Sean Finnerty: [Timidly] To make my guitar go "wah-wah".
- Lily Finnerty: [after Brad struts his new beachwear before her] Wow! Where did you get that outfit? Really, really Old Navy?
- Claudia Finnerty: [Desperately searching for the the location of her exam] I'm looking for Lattimore. Can you tell me where Lattimore is?
- Random college dude: [Salacious grin] You're in luck. I'm Lattimore!
- Eddie Finnerty: So, you made Sean return the wah-wah pedal?
- Claudia Finnerty: No, I just told him that every time he used it, I would remember what an ass he is.
- Eddie Finnerty: You see what you're doing here, Claudia? You're creating an atmosphere where Sean's afraid to lie to you!