[first lines]
Gary: So, if Yvonne wants to know where I am...
Ron: You're in Aberdeen on the verge of clinching a quarter of a million pound printing contract with Sashimi Oil PLC.
Gary: Which means I'm going to have to fly up and down to Scotland several times this week at the drop of a hat.
Ron: Of a tam o'shanter, you mean.
Gary: Ron, I am outlining a business coup here that will catapult Nostradamus Printing into the first division. But only if I can convince Mr McCray to convince Mr Yakimoto that we can do a better job than the printers in Nagoya. Yeah, it's my butt on the line up there in the Grampians, but I can do it, Ron; I won't let you down.
Ron: Gary, Gary, Gary.
Gary: Yes, Ron, Ron, Ron?
Ron: It's only an alibi, remember? A story to tell Yvonne. None of these people actually exist: Mr McCray, Mr Yaki-whatever you said, Sashimi Oil PLC; they're all just a product of your unnervingly fertile imagination - in short, lies.
Gary: [pause] Technically, yes, but if there's one thing I've learnt from doing all these amateur dramatics, it's you've got to believe what you're saying is true. That is the definition of a good actor.
Ron: It's also a pretty good definition of a psychopath.