Get Smart (TV Series)

Weekend Vampire (1965)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maxwell Smart : Let's see what Control has given us in their Newlywed kit.

  Maxwell Smart : [opens suitcase and takes out each item one at a time]  Throwing knife. Knockout drops. Revolver. And brass knuckels. This must be the Commando kit.

  Maxwell Smart : [opens another suitcase]  Ah, this is the Newlywed kit.

  Maxwell Smart : [takes out each item]  Toothpaste. Throwing knife. Knockout drops. Revolver. Brass knuckles.

• Dr. Drago : And now Mr. Smart, it is your turn to hear my sonata of death. But before I begin, do you have any last request?

  Maxwell Smart : Do you know any showtunes?

• Professor Sontag : How did this melody go?

  Maxwell Smart : Well, have you ever heard the song 'Heart of my Heart'?

  Professor Sontag : Yes.

  Maxwell Smart : That wasn't it

• Maxwell Smart : But what you didn't know, is that 99 and I were following you to Drago's place in a Control tracking car, did you?

  Professor Sontag : Not until I caught you in my rear-view mirror.

  Maxwell Smart : When was that?

  Professor Sontag : Just after you crashed into the rear end of my car.

• Chief : Now our one clue is the melody you heard just before the murder. Arrick, is the Detect-O-Tune ready?

  Arrick : Yes, Chief.

  Chief : Good.

  Maxwell Smart : How does it work?

  Arrick : Well, the Detect-O-Tune can reconstruct any melody in the same way that a criminal's face can be reconstructed through the descriptions of witnesses. Now, can you remember any of the notes that you heard?

  Chief : Just hum anything you remember, Max.

  Maxwell Smart : Ok, let me see now, Chief.

  [begins humming] 

  Maxwell Smart : Daaa, daaa, daaa, daaa, doo, daaa, daaa...

  [Arrick then slowly plays same notes on Detect-O-Tune] 

  Maxwell Smart : A little faster than that.

  [Arrick plays notes faster and faster and quickly gets carried away] 

  Chief : ARRICK!

  Arrick : Sorry, Chief.

  Chief : Try to get it, Max. This may be vital!

  Maxwell Smart : All right, Chief. Let me see.

  [begins humming] 

  Maxwell Smart : Daaa, daaa, daaa, daaa...

  Arrick : [humming along]  Bom, bom, bom, bom...

  Maxwell Smart : No, no, no. Daaa, daaa, daaa, da-da-dee, daaa, daaa...

  Chief , Arrick , Maxwell Smart : Daaa, daaa, daaa, dee, daa, dee-dah...

  [All three start singing] 

  Chief , Arrick , Maxwell Smart : "Heart of my heart, how I love that melody, love the melody, heart of my heart, brings back a memory!"

  [Max and Arrick realize what they're doing and stop singing, Chief gets carried away and continues singing] 

  Chief : "When we were kids on the corner of the street, we were rough and..."

  [Chief stops singing, noticing the others have stopped as well, Max takes out a notebook and starts writing something] 

  Chief : What are you doing, Max?

  Maxwell Smart : I'm putting you down for the lead in "The Spy Frolics", Chief.

  Chief : MAX!

  [Max puts his notebook away] 

• Maxwell Smart : [In the car, they are about to follow Sontag when 99 suggests they go up to Drago's house]  Well what are we gonna tell Drago?

  99 : Tell him that our car broke down.

  Maxwell Smart : Oh come on, 99, he'd never fall for that.

  [the car won't start] 

  Maxwell Smart : Come on, let's go up to the house.

  99 : What do we tell Drago?

  Maxwell Smart : That our car broke down.

• 99 : What do we do now, Max?

  Maxwell Smart : Well, first of all 99, we've got to look in this coffin.

  99 : Oh... do we have to?

  Maxwell Smart : Well, you see, 99, according to the legend of the vampire, ridiculous though it may seem, Vampires always sleeps in their coffins.

  99 : Why would they do that, Max?

  Maxwell Smart : Well, if you go around biting people on the neck, I guess you'll do just about everything.

• Maxwell Smart : We've got to keep up our cover at all times. We've got to do everything honeymooners do. Here, these pajamas are our best bet. Get into them

  99 : Max!

  Maxwell Smart : They're bullet proof, 99.