Quotes
-
Maxwell Smart : It says here the mummy of the Egyptian King Tut the fourth is due to arrive in the United States today.
Chief : Oh really? When is his daddy due?
Maxwell Smart : No, Max, this mummy, King Tut the fourth is dead.
Chief : Oh. And you want me to find out who killed him?
Maxwell Smart : Max, he died more than three thousand years ago.
Chief : Oh, that's bad Chief, it's gonna be very difficult to round up witnesses.
-
Agent 13 : Oh, 86 will you do me a favor?
Maxwell Smart : What?
Agent 13 : Eh, you won't tell the Chief that my mother's a spy, will ya?
Maxwell Smart : Well, ok, but why?
Agent 13 : I don't think she's on our side.
-
Miss Smith : [Miss Smith takes a sip of champagne containing her own sleeping pill] Excellent champagne.
Maxwell Smart : [Max has just sipped champagne containing his own truth serum] Are you kidding? This is the cheapest champagne I could buy.
-
Maxwell Smart : Listen, 13, if you hate your job so much, why don't you get into some other line of business?
Agent 13 : Because I'm a trained espionage agent. And besides, it runs in the family.
Maxwell Smart : Your father was a spy?
Agent 13 : No, my mother.
Maxwell Smart : Really?
Agent 13 : Yeah. She was very big in world war one.
Maxwell Smart : No kidding. What's her name?
Agent 13 : I don't know, she won't tell us.
-
Maxwell Smart : Tell me this: since my true identity is such a closely guarded secret, how were you able to recognize me?
Miss Smith : I saw your picture in one of the secret agent fan magazines.
-
Maxwell Smart : This is a very special champagne. Notice the year:
Miss Smith : Oh yes. 1969?
Maxwell Smart : Yes. It's an advance bottle. I understand that that will be a very good year for wine.
-
Maxwell Smart : [wrapped up in mummy bandages] Doctor, do you have a band-aid?
