- 99: [Max has examined a few strands of hair, odd shaped piece of metal, a button and a piece of paper] What's your conclusion, Max?
- Maxwell Smart: The Chief has been kidnapped.
- Professor Windish: May I ask which one of these items led you to that conclusion?
- Maxwell Smart: This innocent looking piece of paper.
- 99: Why Max, what is it?
- Maxwell Smart: A ransom note.
- 99: [Max and 99 are counting the donations for the Help our Chief Fund] Wow, here's one for 500 dollars!
- Maxwell Smart: 500 dollars! Now, that's great. Now we're getting some place. Who's that from?
- 99: The boys in counterfeiting.
- 99: Max, what's your plan?
- Maxwell Smart: I'm going into that park.
- Hodgkins: Alone?
- Maxwell Smart: Alone.
- 99: But Max, you'll be in terrible danger.
- Maxwell Smart: I know. Those parks are murder at night.
- Maxwell Smart: [as Max tunes the car, Chief is wrestling with a KAOS agent, whose gun goes off] You're getting a backfire!
- Maxwell Smart: [Two KAOS agents knock out Chief and drive away with him in his car; Max fails to notice] Hey, Chief, you forgot your luggage! Hurry, hurry, hurry.
- 99: Max, why don't you try to contact headquarters.
- Maxwell Smart: Hmm. That's a good idea, 99. I'll call them on my shoe and you breathe heavily on the Chief.
- Maxwell Smart: [Chief's car won't turn over] You know, I don't claim to be an expert on these things, but I'm willing to make a large wager that I know just where the trouble is.
- Chief: Where, Max?
- Maxwell Smart: In the engine.
- Chief: [sarcastically] Good thinking, you wanna take a look there?
- Maxwell Smart: Where?
- Chief: In the engine!
- Maxwell Smart: [talking into his shoe phone] Hello, Central? Cancel my handkerchief, hold my glasses, cut off my shoe, and see if you can get that guy off my tie.
- 99: That's the end of Satan Place.
- Maxwell Smart: Yes, and that's the end of those three hardened criminals.
- [scene cuts to the three frozen men]
- 99: What about congress, Max. They could put through a special appropriation.
- Maxwell Smart: How long would that take?
- 99: Three months.
- Maxwell Smart: Well, what if it was an emergency?
- 99: Four months.
- Maxwell Smart: Satan? Harvey Satan of KAOS?
- Rudolph: That's right.
- Maxwell Smart: Hmm, I though he was in jail. Wasn't he convicted of arson, treason, insurrection, and mass murder?
- Rudolph: He got time off for good behavior.