Get Smart (TV Series)
Cutback at Control (1967)
Don Adams: Maxwell Smart
Photos
Quotes
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Senator : Mr. Smart, how many arrests did Control make last year?
Maxwell Smart : I don't know.
Senator : Who's the number one man in your organization?
Maxwell Smart : I don't know.
Senator : How many cases were assigned to Control last year?
Maxwell Smart : I don't know.
Senator : What would you do if you were fired, Mr. Smart?
Maxwell Smart : They can't fire me.
Senator : And why not?
Maxwell Smart : I know too much.
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Maxwell Smart : [Max's car has just been repossessed] Oh, one thing: be careful of the machine gun in the exhaust pipe. It's been backfiring lately.
Finance Man : Machine gun in the exhaust pipe, right.
Maxwell Smart : Oh, another thing: don't remove the radiator cap. It sprays a poisonous gas.
Finance Man : Poisonous gas from radiator. Right.
Maxwell Smart : Oh, one last thing: don't use the cigarette lighter. It's a hand grenade.
Finance Man : Lighter is a hand grenade. Right... you've got a dangerous car there.
Maxwell Smart : I don't know why you say that, it's got seatbelts.
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Maxwell Smart : [disguised as an old man] All right, Siegfried, what's the deal?
Siegfried : [disguised as an old lady] Schmart, KAOS is a growing organisation. And you'll be working with a great bunch of boys.
Maxwell Smart : I don't know, Siegfried, I've heard there not all as rotten as the pretend to be.
Siegfried : Not as rotten? Are you kidding? They are all former grease masters, disc jockeys, used car salesmen, TV repairmen und politicians.
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Siegfried : What are you doing here? You should be studying for tomorrow's exam.
Maxwell Smart : Oh yes of course. Well, you see, Siegfried, I thought it would be a lot easier to study for tomorrow's exam if I had a copy of it tonight.
Siegfried : Excellent! All ze world loves a cheat. Forget the exam, you just passed it.
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Maxwell Smart : One shot from that pistol, and the cops will come rolling in here like oranges.
