Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Two Parties (1996)

Lisa Kudrow: Phoebe Buffay

Quotes 

• Sandra Greene : You thought I was Rachel?

  Chandler Bing : Yes we did because you look so young.

  Phoebe Buffay : And because you're both, you know, white women.

• Phoebe Buffay : I have the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?

  Monica Geller : We're not having cake. We're having flan.

  Chandler Bing : Excuse me?

  Monica Geller : It's a festive custard Mexican dessert.

  Joey Tribbiani : Great idea. "Happy birthday, Rachel! Here's some goo!"

• [Gunther tries to leave Monica's party] 

  Monica Geller : [calls]  Gunther! Where are you going?

  Gunther : I um... was sort of thinking about maybe...

  Monica Geller : [insisting]  No! No you can't go!

  [Monica goes up to Gunther and pulls him away from the door] 

  Monica Geller : [insisting]  No! This is fun! Come on! We're just getting started! Here! Here's your marker!

  [Monica gives Gunther a marker and walks away as Phoebe comes over] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [gently assuring]  If you wanna go, just go.

  Gunther : No. She'll yell at me again.

  Phoebe Buffay : Alright. I can get you out.

  Gunther : What?

  Phoebe Buffay : Shhh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.

• Monica Geller : OK. The first person's most embarrassing memory is...

  [Monica takes a piece of paper out of a hat] 

  Monica Geller : [reading]  "Monica your party sucks."

  [Monica forces a laugh] 

  Monica Geller : [sarcastically]  Very funny.

  [Monica is about to take out another piece of paper when Phoebe turns to the table near the window] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [pretending to act concerned]  Oh no! Ooh! Did someone forget to use a coaster?

  Monica Geller : [shocked]  WHAT?

  [Monica goes over to the table and Phoebe gestures to Gunther who nods and quickly leaves the apartment] 

  Monica Geller : [looks at the table and then at Phoebe]  I don't see anything.

  Phoebe Buffay : [sarcastically]  Great. I'm seeing water rings again.

• [Phoebe is quietly talking with three of the guests at Monica's party] 

  Phoebe Buffay : OK. She's taking the trash out... so I can get you out of here but it has to be now. She'll be back any minute.

  Guest : What about my friend Victor?

  Phoebe Buffay : No. Only the three of you. Any more than that and she'll get suspicious.

  Guest : Let me just get my coat.

  Phoebe Buffay : [insisting]  There isn't *time*. Just leave everything. They'll take care of you next door.

  [the guests show agreement] 

  Guest : [interested]  Is it true they have beer?

  Phoebe Buffay : Everything you've heard is true.

  [the guests like the sound of that] 

• [at Joey and Chandler's party, loud music is playing, the guests are dancing and there's an open pizza box with a partly eaten pizza on a table] 

  Monica Geller : [holding a black bin bag]  Could you guys please try to keep it down? We're trying to start a Bovril Tournament!

  [Joey and Chandler look at each other and burst out laughing and Monica recognizes some of the dancing guests] 

  Monica Geller : [shocked]  You! And *you*! You're supposed to be at *my* party!

  [the dancing guests look uneasy but continue dancing and Gunther appears] 

  Monica Geller : [very shocked]  And *Gunther*!

  [Gunther looks down and Monica is in sheer disbelief] 

  Monica Geller : [incredulous]  *What* are you doing here?

  Gunther : [trying to sound positive]  Um...

  [Gunther indicates the other dancing guests and continues dancing as Phoebe arrives with three guests from Monica's party] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [opens the door]  OK! Welcome to the fo...

  [Phoebe sees Monica and stops] 

  Monica Geller : [disbelief]  Phoebe...?

  Phoebe Buffay : [making her point]  Alright! I'm sorry! But these people *needed* me! You know they work hard all week! It's Saturday night! They deserve to have a little fun! Go!

  [the guests join the dancers] 

  Monica Geller : [making her point]  *My* party is fun! Well maybe it's a little quieter, less *obvious* sort of fun, but you know if people would just give a chance it's a w...

  [a volleyball hits Monica on the back of her head and she turns around looking very stern]